


Five Times Laurent and Damen Unintentionally Caused an International Incident (and One Time They Meant To)

by Just_Another_Day



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: 5 Times, Crazy Overuse of Parentheses, Fluff, Honestly these two would be so screwed if the internet existed for them, Humor, Laurent is a Troll, M/M, Modern Royalty, Nikandros is a Saint, POV Nikandros (Captive Prince), Paparazzi, Public Feud, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-03-02 02:09:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13308162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Another_Day/pseuds/Just_Another_Day
Summary: Everyone in the world knows for a fact that Laurent and Damen despise each other with a burning passion despite their countries supposedly being allies. Strangely, though, the two of them seem to have missed that whole 'hatred' memo. Nikandros really doesn't get paid enough to deal with this shit.





	1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, Nikandros had happily set his phone to go silent between midnight and dawn every night. In doing so, he'd been guaranteed a blissful six uninterrupted hours of sleep. Well, uninterrupted unless the one person Nikandros had put on his contacts favourite list, which was set to still ring even in silent mode, decided that it was a good night to drunk dial him. There had been a few times when Nikandros had seriously debated removing him from that favourites list. But he never actually did, of course.

All the while he'd had his phone set up that way, Nikandros had felt that he could trust that the world around him wouldn't fall apart during the short duration when he made himself unreachable. (Those were the days, Nikandros thought nostalgically.)

Then five months ago, Nikandros had reluctantly given in to the inevitable and switched off his phone's quiet mode in preparation for that looming day when his best friend's ridiculous life decisions were surely going to blow up around his ears, and when Nikandros would therefore have to haul himself out of bed at three in the morning so that he could save Damen from himself.

Because of that decision, a loud flurry of Twitter notifications served as Nikandros's impromptu alarm clock well over an hour before his real alarm was set to wake him. The moment Nikandros blearily opened his eyes for long enough to spot '#royalfuckup' at the bottom of one of the many messages popping up on the lit screen of his phone, he groaned. 

He quickly logged into five different social media platforms under Damen's handles and changed all the passwords so that Damen couldn't post anything rash without at least talking to Nikandros first. He even considered going and stealing Damen's phone so that Damen wouldn't even be alerted that there was a problem until Nikandros had had more time to deal with it. However, Damen's phone would currently be in his bedroom with him, and Nikandros had learned long ago that entering Damen's bedroom at night or in the early morning hours was just asking to be scarred for life. Especially considering with whom he'd disappeared last night.

Finally, Nikandros looked back through the now-trending hashtag, past the ridiculous number of reaction tweets on that had already cropped up, to track down whatever thing had caused the damage in the first place. 

To his surprise, it _wasn't_ (as Nikandros had expected for some time, and not without good reason) a photo of Damen caught with his pants around his ankles or otherwise courting a citation for public indecency. 

It was a video clip of last night's banquet, clearly taken on the sly by someone who didn't want to be caught filming on their iPhone. The picture was subsequently shaky and off-centre, and the microphone had picked up a lot of background noise (including, to Nikandros's mortification, his own voice calling out Jord's name while sounding entirely too pleased to see him). Even with all that, though, the identities of the two figures that were intended to be the subject of the video were more than clear enough. 

Laurent, with his face that was usually composed and coldly charming in public instead bearing an unmistakably smug smirk, leaned in towards Damen and said, low but audible, "Don't try to pretend you'd have the ability to string together even two single-syllable words, you giant animal."

He punctuated the line by striding ( _flouncing_ , Nikandros thought with a roll of his eyes) away looking self-satisfied. 

The video caught Damen looking inscrutable (and, perhaps as proof of Laurent's point, quite speechless) for a long moment before he tore off across the ballroom floor in the direction where Laurent had disappeared.

The news article that accompanied the leaked clip seemed to take Laurent's comment as being directed towards the entirety of Akielos. They claimed that insiders in Laurent's inner circle (what inner circle, Nikandros scoffed) had in the past overheard all sorts of comments that pointed to him being prejudiced against Akielos. There was Laurent referring to Akielons as barbarians (well, okay, Nikandros could vouch for that word being directed Damen's way more than once), as well as Laurent openly claiming that he could keep up his demanding duties in his own kingdom and _still_ easily run Akielos single-handedly better than King Theomedes and the combined hoard of useless staff he kept on hand (yeah, that comment definitely happened as well, and Nikandros actually thought Laurent might have a point about the King's personal staff anyway), and that Vere should give up on their supposed alliance with Akielos and just take over the country for themselves, since the Akielons were too stupid to see it coming anyway (Nikandros sincerely doubted Laurent had said those exact words, considering everything, but it sounded just enough like how Laurent spoke when he was at his most scathingly flippant to be accepted by the public as plausible).

The explosion of online commentary immediately labelled Laurent as racist on top of his already-existing reputation as a power-hungry heartless bastard. A few even noted that Auguste had really better hurry up and start producing some heirs already, because this proved that there was no way Laurent was fit to remain next in line for the throne.

Then one of the first Twitter posts on the topic had screencapped a shot of Damen's face (which merely looked determined to Nikandros's eyes, but he could see how it might have been mistaken for apoplectic among those who weren't so well acquainted with Damen's moods) as he took off in pursuit of Laurent. The picture accompanied the words: _Won't be surprised if Laurent's precious-work-of-art face is bruised this morning #royalfuckup #damenonawarpath #nottheface #kindadeservesit_

After that, the talk quickly turned to Damen's, and therefore Akielos's, reaction. The moment that Nikandros had been tipped off that there had been some kind of scandal involving Damen and Laurent, he'd assumed he would need to do some kind of damage control for the next few days, so that part was no surprise. But actually, even though it was Laurent alone who'd come out of the situation looking bad, Nikandros wondered if this was actually going to be even more work for him than if it had been some kind of sex scandal instead. To all appearances, currently it was believed that Laurent had either just started or escalated a feud between Damen and himself, and perhaps between Vere and Akielos at large given how people were clearly taking sides along national lines. As if Vere and Akielos needed any actual reason to be at each other's throats given their history. This recent alliance between their countries was still tenuous at best. That was the problem.

After an hour of frustrating phone calls with King Theomedes's gang of publicists about how to handle this (a waste of time, since they were all idiots, so Nikandros would obviously just end up drafting the response himself), Damen slammed through Nikandros's office door without bothering to knock. He was bare-chested and his curls were still wild from sleep (or whatever else he'd been getting up to last night that Nikandros didn't really want to have to think about). Clearly he hadn't even slowed down long enough to do anything but pull on a loose pair of trousers to preserve his supposed modesty before tearing across the castle. 

"Good morning," Nikandros said.

"Give me the new password," Damen demanded, not seeming to doubt for a second that it had been Nikandros who'd locked him out of his accounts. 

"You really should have made it something more difficult to guess than 'lamen2018' if you didn't want it to get hacked," Nikandros pointed out. "And since it would obviously be best for you to steer entirely clear of social media for the next 24 hours, there's no point in giving you the new password just yet, is there? Now you really should go and get properly dressed while I finish figuring out what the hell to say to the public to calm everyone down."

"You do realise you can't order me around, right?"

"I'm well aware of that, especially since you hardly ever even listen to me anyway. But while I may not be the King, and while anyone watching me this morning could be forgiven for thinking that I'm just your hapless publicist, I'm actually your political advisor. Which means my entire role revolves around making sure you don't do dumb shit. So let me do my job. Come back in twenty minutes. I should have a statement for you to read over by then."

"I can come up with my own speeches."

"Yes, and you're always particularly inspiring when you're talking to anyone on a military base visit or at a sports event, no doubt," acknowledged Nikandros, "but don't think I don't know exactly where the conversation's going to end up if you ad-lib it this time. Besides, there's not even a need for you to make the statement personally; it's not like you're the one seen to be at fault here. If Laurent chooses to run his mouth while he's in the public eye, then it's up to him to at least pick up most of the slack on the damage control front. We'll release an official statement that's measured and neutral and makes it clear that you're not angry or fighting with Laurent or with Vere, but no more than that."

"So I'm supposed to leave Laurent looking like a bigot?"

Nikandros shrugged. "Isn't he sort of one, though? Name any Akielons apart from you who he doesn't think of as a waste of oxygen."

"You, for one," Damen was quick to respond.

Nikandros privately doubted that. Laurent certainly seemed to be convinced that he could walk all over Nikandros like a doormat. That didn't exactly imply a high level of respect. Damen was probably just saying that to try to get Nikandros on Laurent's side so he'd agree they should help him out. 

However, Damen was Nikandros's first priority, always, even if Damen himself didn't seem to think his reputation was more important than playing the knight in shining armour right now.

"Look, there's not a chance I'm just throwing Laurent under the bus so I can look like the better man or whatever you're thinking," Damen continued. "Not when I can make this go away right now in the space of a single tweet."

"Yes, why not just announce to everyone that Prince Laurent of Vere was actually publically teasing Prince Damianos of Akielos about how effectively he could leave him speechless in the bedroom. I'm sure that will make the whole thing disappear into thin air, too bland and uninteresting to ever be discussed again. Good plan," Nikandros said dryly. "Anyway, I think your father might actually be tempted to declare war against Vere just to head you off if he realises how desperate you are to climb into bed with one of those snakes."

"Better that than everyone be campaigning for Laurent to be ejected from his job over something he didn't even really do."

Nikandros ever-so-patiently reminded him, "King Auguste is hardly the type to kick his little brother to the kerb over one stray comment, even if he'd actually meant exactly what he's been misconstrued as saying. Besides," Nikandros added, readying his trump card, "somehow Prince Laurent strikes me as wanting to be in control of if and when information about his private life is released. I doubt he'll thank you for 'saving him' from this."

Damen fumed silently ( _that_ was what his truly annoyed face looked like, Nikandros thought, but since the public at large had never actually seen it, he supposed they weren't to know any better). He thankfully seemed to acknowledge that Nikandros was at least right on that point. Given the choice, Laurent would want to deal with this kind of thing on his own. And besides, even Nikandros had to admit that the silver-tongued menace could probably do a better job of acquitting himself than anything Damen or Nikandros could come up with.

"So, now that we're finally agreed on that, tell me: do we have to find a way to sneak the Crown Prince of Vere out of the palace this morning without him running into the paparazzi?" Nikandros asked.

The way Damen's glare shifted into an almost-pout said it all. Laurent apparently still hadn't let Damen get a leg over last night, not even after Damen had raced after him out of the room, with neither of them to be seen by anyone in the hours that followed. No wonder Damen was so hung up on him.

"You know, if you'd just fuck and get it out of your systems, already, then you wouldn't need to risk getting caught openly flirting at public events," Nikandros pointed out. But he knew it was no use. He'd known that much half a year ago, even before Laurent had used the intervening six months to wrap Damen ever more firmly around his finger.

He could beg Damen to see reason and try to prevent everyone else from seeing what was actually going on all he wanted, but Nikandros was well aware by now that Laurent wasn't a problem that was just going to go away (much to Nikandros's dismay).

As if to rub that in, Laurent texted Nikandros (how had he even got his hands on Nikandros's number?) an hour after the official statement outlining Damen's response to the incident had been released. 

_Good work keeping the idiot from saying anything particularly stupid. Keep it up_ , the text read, leaving Nikandros with the distinct impression that he'd just been patted on the head like a dog, and that this wouldn't be the last time he'd feel that way during an interaction with Laurent.

Nikandros sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

Akielos may not have been as well-known for its political intrigues as, for example, Vere, but that didn't mean that Nikandros wasn't still wary of the possibility of things like assassination attempts, even inside the walls of the palace. Someone had to be. Damen certainly wouldn't ever be the one to see them coming.

So when Nikandros found the outer door that connected the hallway to his rooms slightly ajar, he tensed and eased his way inside, muscles coiled and ready to fight off an attack. When he found the living area empty, Nikandros took the chance to sidle over to his kitchen and grabbed a makeshift weapon.

Carving knife in his right hand, his left slowly pushed his bedroom door open with the tiniest whisper of an ominous creak. 

Then he blinked several times in rapid succession.

The Crown Prince of Vere was lying on Nikandros's bed, flicking through one of the many trashy magazines that had his own picture on the cover this month. He looked for all the world as if he owned the space around him, leaving Nikandros feeling strangely as though he were intruding in his own bedroom.

He was fully clothed, thankfully, and yet the indolent splay of his limbs over Nikandros's silky sheets would surely have been enough to rouse the attention of most men (especially Damen, who would probably have tripped and face-planted in the doorway if this were the sight that had greeted him in _his_ bed). The way he looked in that moment, Nikandros thought it was no wonder that his immediate thought upon catching his first sight of Prince Laurent of Vere in person many months ago had been 'oh shit no'. So it was a mark of just how thoroughly Nikandros's brain had shoved Laurent into the 'constant source of irritation I cannot get rid of' box that Nikandros remained personally unmoved by the sight now. 

Well, unmoved except for the general shock of Laurent being in Nikandros's rooms at all. Had he been looking for Damen's apartments and somehow lost his way?

Laurent looked far less surprised to see Nikandros here than Nikandros was to stumble upon him, though, so that pretty much put paid to that theory. He didn't even look perturbed by the fact that Nikandros was waving a massive blade around in front of him. Nikandros set said knife aside as quickly as he could without outright throwing it, well aware that Damen would probably challenge him to a duel or something if it got out that Nikandros had even momentarily pointed a knife at his… whatever the hell Laurent was to Damen.

"Your Highness," Nikandros greeted, bowing slightly in deference. He might have referred to Laurent by his just first name (or occasionally just as 'Hellspawn') in the privacy of his own mind, but thankfully Nikandros hadn't completely lost all sense of decorum even after years of dealing with Damen's sometimes less-than-royal bearing.

Not that Nikandros thought Laurent would have actually given a shit if Nikandros called him 'Evil Incarnate' or something even worse to his face, mind. The insults fired his way (and there were a lot of them) always just seemed to just roll off Laurent's back, from what Nikandros had observed.

"You're lucky I didn't just call the guards," Nikandros commented. "Unless that was what you intended? If so, personally I don't think the best way to throw the gossip rags off the scent of whatever you're getting up to with Prince Damianos is by being caught in my bed instead."

"No, that would probably just convince them I was making the rounds through the whole palace of Ios. People just can't seem to decide whether I'm the biggest slut in Vere or totally frigid. Which is why I'm not overly bothered if a few magazines and fansites decide I'm having passionate hate sex with Damianos every time one of us sets foot in the other's country. What I'm more concerned about is this."

Laurent let his magazine fall aside in favour of tossing his phone at Nikandros, who caught it handily. A caricature of Laurent looping a noose around his own neck while a particularly evil-looking version of King Theomedes held the other end of the rope, ready to tug on it, practically jumped off the screen at him. Scrolling further down the feed, the next article opened with: 'How safe is our border when a 19-year-old wildcard with an uncontrollable mouth and a grudge bigger than the size of his country is the _de facto_ chief advisor to the King of Vere? The King's Council is convening in two days, and one of the main topics up for discussion is whether continuing in such an unreliable alliance is even tenable.' 

The website the article was featured on was the second-biggest source of news in the entire country.

Fuck. 

"Apparently King Theomedes is incensed enough at my 'recent behaviour' towards your country that he's considering giving my brother an ultimatum: silence me and permanently eject me from any political dealings, or lose Akielos's hand of friendship, as it were."

It was on the tip of Nikandros's tongue to suggest that if Laurent wanted to avoid such calls for reprisal then he shouldn't keep throwing fuel on the fire. Ever since the video that had labelled him a hateful little bigot, he'd been tweeting at Damen on a daily basis, supposedly to show the world that there were actually no hard feelings between them. But considering that every tweet somehow managed to fit in more sly double-talk and barely-veiled insults than should be humanly possible in 140 characters or less, in reality Laurent's efforts had only continued polarising their countries (and made '#saltprince' repeatedly trend). 

It didn't help either that Laurent couldn't seem to contain his desire to make fun of the tensions between himself and Akielos. The most recent photo Nikandros had seen him post had been of a seething mass of angry Karthas City fans that had taken to the streets in a near-riot after the team's loss in last weekend's football match, followed by the comment: _My adoring Akielon supporters coming to pay their respects_.

Instead of censuring him (it probably would have fallen on deaf ears, and it wasn't Nikandros's job to advise _him_ anyway), Nikandros assured him, "It's just a rumour. No one's actually plotting to overthrow you. At least no one on our end. Presumably there's at least ten different people trying to kill you at any given moment in the snake pit you call a palace."

Laurent shrugged as if death threats in your own home weren't a big deal. "It hardly matters whether it's true that King Theomedes has it out for me or not, as long as the news is picking up the story and running with it. Perception is reality. If our respective kingdoms think we're on the verge of breaking our alliance, any progress we've made in the last few years is likely to be reversed. And I can't imagine the effect on those border regions where the populations of Veretians and Akielons were on their way to becoming practically blended will be positive."

Nikandros, who lived along the border in the city of Marlas when he wasn't needed at the palace, winced. 

"All right, but why come to _me_ about this?" asked Nikandros.

"Who else should I discuss this with? Damianos, who would probably immediately storm off to his father to demand to know if he really is trying to get me ousted, and in doing so would be waving a red flag under the old bull's nose? You, much as it astonishes to me to admit it, seem to be the most reasonable person this palace has to offer."

"Thank you," said Nikandros sardonically. 

"Not to mention that you're the only person who doesn't hate me who has the ability to get me invited to attend the next official event here in the palace."

Nikandros rolled his eyes. "Skimming over the fact that your presence here right now suggests you don't actually need an official invitation to enter Ios, have you forgotten that the last event you attended here didn't end well for you?"

"That's precisely the point," Laurent said. "My uncle has persuaded my brother's Council that the only way to move forward from that little 'indiscretion' is to prove that I can keep my mouth shut under those same circumstances in future. I'm supposed to get a few pictures making nice with Prince Damianos and the rest of the Akielons to improve my tattered public image." The sharpness of his smile suggested to Nikandros that Laurent didn't believe his uncle had made such a suggestion out of the kindness of his heart. Knowing Veretians, he was probably hoping his nephew hated Damen enough that he wouldn't be able to keep himself from messing up again, Nikandros speculated, disgusted. He didn't understand how anyone could grow up in a place where you even had to fear that your own family might be plotting against you.

Maybe that was why he took pity on Laurent and agreed to play his part in whatever mad plan the Prince of Vere had in mind.

Or maybe Nikandros just wanted to see Damen's ludicrously broad smile when he found out that Laurent was going to be at the charity dinner next Saturday. (Nikandros pointedly didn't mention to Damen that Laurent was already in the country and had, in fact, been inside the castle and more specifically in Nikandros's rooms, because there was no way that was going to end well.)

"Could you _please_ take this opportunity to convince him to stop teasing you on Twitter, at least," Nikandros begged when he delivered the news to Damen. "You might think it's cute, like when one of those little yappy puppies chews on your hand because it hasn't learned any better, but to the rest of the world it looks more like a full-grown wolf is ripping out your throat."

Damen agreed readily, but Nikandros was pretty sure he hadn't even really heard what Nikandros had said after the words 'Prince Laurent will be there' had passed his lips. Even if he had been listening, Nikandros wasn't exactly holding his breath that Damen would ever actually ask Laurent to talk to him less.

Thankfully, Damen seemed to have somewhat contained his eagerness by the time the dinner actually rolled around (at least enough for the casual observer not to notice; to Nikandros, on the other hand, he still looked like he was practically vibrating with excitement at actually being allowed to be in the same room as Laurent for the first time in months).

It actually seemed to go almost suspiciously to plan for the first hour or so. The Akielons were all on their best and most charming behaviour when they welcomed Laurent, and Laurent was apparently willing to hover just on the right side of the razor's edge between coming across as witty or offensive. Nikandros actually allowed himself to stop watching Damen like a hawk for a few minutes at a time, just because things seemed to be going so well (and certainly _not_ because Nikandros was distracted in those minutes by a soft voice determinedly practising what few halting snippets of Akielon he'd picked up, for Nikandros had known even before watching Laurent run Damen in circles that nothing good could come of taking that kind of notice of Veretians).

A quick social media check showed that there was a leaked photo of the princes' handshake greeting. The suggestion that it looked like Prince Laurent was trying to break Prince Damianos's hand launched about a thousand jokes about his chances of success. But if that was the worst thing that came of this plan, Nikandros would be satisfied, and he assumed Laurent would as well, assuming it was even possible for Laurent to feel something as human as satisfaction.

Of course, it seemed that no sooner had Nikandros cursed them all by thinking that than there was some scuffle in a small adjoining room. (Blurry photos released hours later gave rise to speculation that Prince Laurent and Prince Damianos had got into a physical altercation, and come on, for fuck's sake, Nikandros thought, did people really look at that picture and think they were _wrestling_?)

There were shocked cries as the Crown Prince of Vere erupted from a crowd of reporters and interested bystanders, towing the stunned-looking Crown Prince of Akielos behind him. The two darted out of the massive dining room into a side hallway, with the shouts of the pursuing paparazzi echoing behind them.

"Why did I agree to organise this?" Nikandros muttered to himself, and then decided he'd better at least follow Damen to make sure he didn't get into too much trouble. 

In answer to Nikandros's silent invitation to join him tracking down their wayward princes, Jord shook his head and said, "The Prince specifically instructed his Guard that we weren't to follow if he had to make an abrupt departure. He's safe enough with Prince Damianos, at least."

So Laurent had known something like this was going to happen. Somehow Nikandros wasn't even surprised.

Nikandros was only mildly more successful at keeping track of Laurent and Damen's progress around the palace (and over the roof, _really_?) than the gossip-hungry jackals trying their best to simultaneously keep up with their sprinting escape and get some usable footage. As soon as he'd ascertained that they'd managed to get out of the palace without anyone on their tail, Nikandros stopped following. 

He shot off a single text message to Damen: _Just saying, he'd better be the most astonishing lay of your entire life to justify all this trouble._

There wasn't much he could do to mitigate the damage until Damen showed up again in the morning. And as long as Nikandros didn't have to deal with photos of them being found together naked in a brothel or something, he supposed they couldn't do much more damage at this point.

Of course, Nikandros might as well not even have tried for sleep that night with his phone constantly pinging alerts at him for hours at length. He seriously considered flinging the phone at the wall and then making Damen buy him a replacement tomorrow. But in the end he figured he should probably at least look at what people were saying so he could brace himself to deal with it.

What the pictures from the night lacked in quality, they certainly tried to make up in abundance. There were shots from practically every angle of every move the two princes made during the initial confusion. First there was instant-by-instant coverage of Damen and Laurent being discovered in some kind of compromising position. Then there was Laurent apparently throwing Damen off him while Damen looked wide-eyed both at being caught and at having half-his-size Laurent manage to catch him unawares and basically launch him against a wall. Then it all devolved into shaky camera footage of Laurent dragging Damen out of the dinner and across half the palace. Nikandros imagined that if they edited it all together they could come up with some kind of chase montage.

And yet still apparently none of it was clear enough for the public to figure out what had actually happened. Nikandros truly feared for the intelligence of their two nations.

_Wait, what's up with the hand-holding while they're running? Don't they hate each other?_ one comment asked.

_Ha,_ said another, _don't even try to tell me they weren't doing the nasty in that closet. Who cares if you hate each other when you both look like that?_

Every other comment, though, seemed to be more along the vein of either 'what the hell, did the Demon Ice Prince of Vere just kidnap our beloved heir apparent, someone arrest him already', or 'looks like Prince Laurent's finally going to put Dumbass Damianos out of his misery. They'll never find the body'. And then it all went downhill from there as the two sides started responding to each other. Google Translate had probably never had to work so hard in the space of a single night. 

Nikandros wondered if it really was possible that a hard-won political alliance really could be defeated by the internet. It was just lucky that two nations couldn't actually declare war against each other over social media without the input of their leaders.

At this point, maybe it would actually be better if Nikandros just came out and announced that this whole thing was because Laurent found it amusing to give Damen the world's worst case of blue balls. Pity that Nikandros had apparently been the only one who'd witnessed the part of the daring getaway where Damen and Laurent were to all appearances necking on a balcony; Nikandros challenged even the blindest paparazzo or fanatical internet blogger to possibly manage to mistake _that_.

When Damen finally showed back up hours later, looking sheepish and giving off the air of someone who _still_ somehow hadn't got laid, Nikandros buried his face in his hands and debated whether he should be screaming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that canon typical warnings apply to this part, though it's all by implication only. 
> 
> Also, yikes, the word count of this part got away from me, didn't it?

"What on earth are you wearing?" Nikandros heard Laurent ask, his fingertips plucking at the loose-fitting plain white linen shirt that Damen had chosen for the evening. "Did someone tell you to dress for an afternoon at the beach?" He looked at Nikandros as if he blamed him for this.

"Not enough laces for your taste?" Damen shot back in reference to the distinctively austere style of formal dress Laurent was favouring tonight. "I'll let you dress me in future, if you'd prefer. Or we can go somewhere right now where you could strip these clothes off me, if you find them that offensive."

Nikandros looked skywards, wishing there was actually someone up there who might hear his prayers for these two to stop flirting right in front of him. And effectively right in front of the whole world, for that matter, since half of the clingers-on here were probably salivating over the chance to earn themselves a little peripheral fame by being the one to break a new story about the supposedly-fighting princes.

Honestly, though, if Nikandros trusted the public to draw the right conclusions (the widespread interpretation of their interactions so far hadn't left him with a lot of confidence), he might actually have encouraged Damen and Laurent to just let themselves be overheard. 

For the sake of his own recently-debatable sanity, Nikandros had given up on actually heading off this disaster of a union in favour of trying to prepare for its inexorable aftermath. From a strictly political standpoint, it might not be the worst thing at this point for the princes of Vere and Akielos to provide some tangible proof that the potential future rulers of their country were too busy making heart eyes to be on the verge of declaring war on each other. The key, however, was to get Damen to start subtly laying the foundation with his father to mitigate the damage when King Theomedes found out his son was in a relationship with the son of a man he'd hated more than anyone else in the world (or to let Nikandros do so on his behalf, more to the point, because Nikandros was unconvinced that 'subtle' was a word in Damen's vocabulary). 

Damen had said he'd love to do that, really, if only he and Laurent were actually in anything that could be called a relationship in the first place.

Nikandros had to remind himself then (for at least the hundredth time) that there was no point trying to talk Damen out of it anymore; he was clearly in way too deep. And it wasn't as if the two of them wouldn't keep being in each other's presence either way. It came with the territory of being the heirs apparent of kingdoms that shared a border and were currently trying to find a way to live in relative harmony. 

In fact, their meetings would likely be more frequent than ever now that Damen would be attending more official events like tomorrow's diplomatic conference, which was what brought them to Vere tonight. In preparation for Damen's future ascendancy to the throne, King Theomedes had a few weeks ago decreed that Prince Damianos would not be renewing his military service once the year's leave he'd taken at his father's behest finished. Nikandros knew that decision had broken his friend's heart, but Damen had followed his father's orders nonetheless (because in the end, Damen was as loyal to his King as Nikandros was to his own). 

So Damen was now expected to take over from Kastor in heading these kinds of negotiations. Damen probably looked forward to more time spent in Vere, but the price he would have to pay for increased contact in person with Laurent seemed to be more time also spent with all the Veretian courtiers. They seemed intent tonight on monopolising Damen's time, now that they'd been reminded that it would be Damen, not Kastor, who would one day rule Akielos. Even now, Nikandros saw him being reluctantly drawn away from Laurent's side into conversation with one of the higher-ranking Veretian lords. 

The transition from being with Laurent to talking to some other courtier highlighted to Nikandros that the only time he'd seen Damen looking fully animated in the few weeks since he'd given up his army command had been when Laurent had been talking to him, or even just tweeting at him. Now Nikandros watched from a distance as the tension in Damen's shoulders bunched tighter with every new courtier he had to greet. Although it didn't keep any of them away, Nikandros doubted that he was the only one who noticed Damen's growing irritation.

It would be an understatement to say that Damen had never been good at hiding his emotions. Perhaps King Theomedes's insistence on making his younger son a full-time royal delegate was a last-ditch effort to correct that (good luck there, Nikandros thought).

It wouldn't always be like this at these events, though, Nikandros reassured himself. Damen wouldn't have to spend most of his time being miserable, because he'd often be able to seclude himself away in 'official talks' (otherwise known as hours of easy conversation peppered with companionable laughter) with King Auguste. Thankfully, Auguste was in many ways more like Damen than he was his own brother and his fellow countrymen (and the two of them certainly seemed to share a blind spot when it came to Laurent, at the very least). For all that he would never wish ill on King Theomedes, Nikandros quietly looked forward to seeing how things would shift once it was Auguste and Damen working together directly to navigate the new alliance between their countries, rather than Damen trying to act as some kind of intermediary between two Kings of diametrically different generations and dispositions. 

For tonight, however, King Auguste was absent, tied up late in trade negotiations with Vask. And unfortunately, unlike his brother, Prince Laurent didn't yet seem to have the clout within his own court to rescue Damen from the circling sharks (presuming Laurent would even be bothered helping Damen out if he could).

However, the other prince present tonight did manage to smoothly extract Damen off to the side for a private conversation. Nikandros was fairly sure that Damen didn't appreciate that anywhere near as much as if it had been Auguste or Laurent who'd done so.

It wasn't really a surprising development that the King of Vere's uncle had chosen tonight, when Damen was finally the one in charge of Akielos's side of the upcoming negotiations, to take an interest in him. In the first minor scandal of King Auguste's rule (long preceding his younger brother recently causing seemingly endless amounts of trouble), the only surviving older and more experienced royal family member, who was currently second in line to the Veretian throne, and who had by all accounts been a steady and charismatic influence at King Aleron's side for his entire rule, had for some reason been left out of young King Auguste's advisory Council when he'd first ascended to the throne. Ever since, the man had only ever seemed to gravitate towards those with the kind of power that might potentially help him increase his own standing again. With public relations between Akielos and Vere currently strained, it had to have occurred to him that anyone who could be seen bridging that gap would surely be looked upon kindly.

Strangely, though, from where Nikandros stood, it looked unlikely that his aim in approaching Damen was to use him that way. The man struck Nikandros as being able to don a mask that could win most people over whenever he put his mind to it, and Damen was generally pretty credulous. Right then, however, Damen had his teeth clenched, clearly annoyed. Nikandros could hardly blame Damen for his obviousness this time, when the other man was taking no pains to hide his emotions either. Even from this distance, his face appeared self-satisfied in a way that set Nikandros on edge.

He watched Damen's jaw suddenly fall slack with surprise before something dark swept across his face. Nikandros had closed a third of the space between himself and Damen before he even realised his feet were in motion, instinct shoving him into action. He was too late though. Just like the other times (which Nikandros could count on one hand) that he'd seen real fury distort Damen's features, this too ended with Damen's fist in someone's face. 

Only it didn't actually _end_ there at all this time. Even as Nikandros was grabbing at Damen's arm, Damen was winding it back for a fourth punch. He was so determined to get in another strike that Nikandros could barely hold on to Damen's elbow despite always having been of a similar size and strength with his childhood friend. When Damen put his entire weight into bodily lunging at this middle-aged prince, seeming not to care that he was twice Damen's age and showing no disposition towards fighting back or even really defending himself, Nikandros alone likely wouldn't have been able to stop him. Thankfully, by then Pallas and Aktis had rushed in, and they were just as capable at protecting their Prince from himself as from others. Taking their cue from Nikandros, the two bodyguards each grabbed their Prince and together they managed to keep Damen still, though not subdued. 

"I'll kill you," Damen snarled like a wild animal. Nikandros barely recognised him in that moment.

"Exalted," Pallas addressed him carefully, though Damen was probably in no state to really hear his tone, "have you been attacked? Should we have this man taken into custody?"

"No," Nikandros said, his voice soft so as not to be overheard in case any of the nearby Veretians understood any Akielon. "The Veretian was not the one who did the attacking." Not physically, at least. Nikandros had no idea what kind of verbal assault could possibly have given rise to this level of reaction.

It was eventually Damen rather than the man sprawled on the ground who was taken into custody by the mob of security guards converging upon the disturbance. They could barely restrain him either, even though there were more of them, but they did just barely manage. Nikandros was therefore finally was able to spare enough attention from Damen to glance around and gauge the temperature of the room. Most of the faces around them were just plain shocked, but a good number had moved past that and now looked either angry at the Akielon prince or sympathetic towards their own. 

It didn't take someone with Nikandros's experience in inter-country politics to know that this might easily become the thing that tipped Akielon-Veretian relations over the edge. 

The police were on site remarkably quickly, even considering that the call that there had been violence committed at a royal event was almost certainly given top priority. When the officers went to clip metal handcuffs around Damen's wrists, someone behind Nikandros drawled, "I think it might be a good idea to seek royal approval before you manhandle a prince of a foreign nation any further, don't you?"

When Damen heard that voice, he finally stopped struggling. "Laurent," he said, his voice tight. Nikandros's chest clenched unpleasantly. He'd never heard Damen sound like that before. 

"Prince Laurent," the officer who was clearly in charge said with a quick bow. "You should stay back. This man is dangerous."

"Yes, obviously. That's hardly news to me. I think you'll find that my uncle was also aware of it well before Prince Damianos provided him with a personal demonstration of that fact. It would take an idiot to see a man built like a bear and not suspect he was capable of tearing a few limbs off if properly provoked. So you can rest easy; I'm not underestimating him. I'm simply not afraid of him." 

A few steps behind Laurent, Jord looked more or less unperturbed that his Prince was approaching Damen's side only minutes after they'd seen him go ballistic on Laurent's uncle. Like Nikandros, Jord obviously had a fairly clear understanding of how things stood between the Crown Princes; there was no way Damen was about to physically hurt Laurent any time soon.

To Jord's left, Orlant just looked like he found the whole situation hilarious. He seemed to be just stopping himself short of giving Damen a thumbs up. Clearly he thought even less of Laurent's uncle than Nikandros did.

Laurent stood right before Damen, looking down at him where he'd been forced to his knees. He announced loudly enough for the whole room to hear, "Vere has no interest in unnecessarily quarrelling with our friends in Akielos. For now, the full circumstances of Prince Damianos's actions are unknown, and therefore have as of yet earned no censure. I know I speak for the King as well as myself when I remind everyone that Vere stands firmly by the presumption of innocence. So until his case can be addressed before a court of law tomorrow morning, Prince Damianos will be confined but treated as a guest of Vere rather than our prisoner. For this duration, he will have full access to his advisers. He will also have the ability to contact King Theomedes or any other member of the palace or the press in Akielos as he chooses. Vere has nothing to hide, and I personally encourage full transparency with Akielos as we progress with this matter."

The wave of noise that rose immediately after Laurent finished didn't seem to faze him at all. He was the very image of a poised Crown Prince in that moment. Nikandros had to wonder to himself why Laurent couldn't manage to be half that politic when he was limited to 140 characters. He suspected it had more to do with motivation than ability.

Damen voiced no protest to any of what Laurent had said, so Nikandros followed silently along behind him as he was escorted, at Laurent's direction, to a set of rooms where he could apparently be securely detained for the night. If not for the police positioned at the door, the apartments would have looked the furthest thing from a holding cell imaginable. To Nikandros's eye, they would have almost been too opulent to house visiting heads of state even under the best of circumstances. They were likely, Nikandros considered, the exact rooms that had been prepared for Prince Damianos to stay in tonight regardless of this incident. Clearly Laurent hadn't been lying when he'd stated he had no interest in making Damen's confinement into any kind of punishment.

"I'll be back in an hour," Laurent declared in a clipped tone, as impersonally as Nikandros had ever heard him speak to Damen. Nikandros assumed he was planning on spending that time discussing with King Auguste what they should do about this (though he might actually have been off to paint his nails and laugh about keeping them waiting for no reason, for all Nikandros knew). 

Laurent looked at Nikandros. "I assume I might as well have you locked in here too, since I doubt you're going anywhere without him. If you decide to take full advantage of the alone time together, though, you might want to hang a sock on the door so none of these poor officers mistakenly get an eyeful if they hear odd noises and think to check in on your well-being."

Before Nikandros could retort, one of the police officers said, "Your Highness, it's bad enough that he's being detained in an environment over which we have limited control. But we can't leave a civilian unattended with a suspected violent criminal while he's in our custody."

"Oh, I think you can," Laurent countered. "What's the worst case scenario? That these two will get into a show of testosterone before you hear them going at it and come in to break it up? Big deal. I would be willing to stake money that it wouldn't be the first time these two would have exchanged punches."

Fair point, Nikandros acknowledged, though usually they settled for wrestling rather than pounding on each other to settle their differences (and occasionally just to get rid of excess energy, especially lately, ever since Damen had seemed to become unwilling to seek out the usual alternative outlets).

The entourage of police still seemed uncertain, but they didn't seem sure whether they had the authority to deny Laurent on this, so they let the door swing shut with Nikandros left in the room with Damen.

"You know, it's probably just as well my father had me pull myself out of the army already," Damen said as soon as the door was locked shut. "Otherwise I could expect a court-martial for this back home on top of whatever trial will be held here in Vere."

"Always looking on the bright side, aren't you," Nikandros commented. 

Damen grimaced. "There's nothing bright about this."

"Not really, no. What happened?" Nikandros asked. "What'd he say to you?"

Damen shook his head and said nothing.

"Now isn't the best time to start keeping secrets from me," Nikandros warned. 

Damen still refused to say a word.

"Fine. Don't talk to me, then. Talk to King Theomedes; I'll ring him for you."

"Do you have to?" Damen asked, sounding for a second like he was five rather than twenty-five.

Nikandros shrugged. "Would you rather be the one to break it to him gently, or would you prefer to have to answer the phone after he hears it from somewhere else?"

Damen sighed and held out his hand for the phone.

Damen, as it turned out, was not very good at delivering the news of his arrest to his father in a way that wouldn't make the King furious (Nikandros wasn't surprised by this at all). The tinny sound of King Theomedes's yelling as filtered through the phone was so loud that Damen might as well have set the call to speaker. Yet even in the face of his father's incredulous demands to know what had happened ("Did those damn snakes trump up a charge just to get you to bend over for them?" quickly devolved into, "What the hell did you do, son?"), Damen was just as tight-lipped with his father as with Nikandros. 

Nikandros saw it coming a mile away, of course, but he still sighed when Damen held the phone back out to him, saying that the King wanted to talk to him.

King Theomedes wasn't done yelling yet. Not even close. 

Nikandros really had to get a job where he wasn't blamed when someone else did something stupid.

When the door opened and Laurent sauntered back in, it was probably the first time in his life that Nikandros was actually glad to see the smug little snake, because it gave him a legitimate excuse to tell the King that he would have to call him back (though Nikandros would definitely try to put that off until the King had calmed down a little more).

Damen's head snapped up, and he broke his self-imposed silence of the past hour. "Laurent…"

"Don't," Laurent snapped. "I have a fair idea what my uncle would have said to you. There's absolutely no need to discuss it." His eyes slid over to Nikandros, and Damen's followed. Reminded that they weren't alone, Damen shut his mouth.

Nikandros wanted to growl in frustration. 

He wasn't an idiot; it was obvious enough that whatever had caused Damen's outburst, Laurent was at the centre of it. Nikandros would have liked to have claimed that Laurent had obviously corrupted Damen, for it wasn't like him to potentially fuck up their country's future over someone who wasn't even his lover yet, but… yeah, probably no one would have believed that anyway.

"My brother is insisting he needs to return here and deal with this immediately," Laurent announced. "I told him to leave it – that I'd handle it myself – but he firmly believes that this idiocy requires his personal attention to stop it from escalating. He wants to give you an opportunity to receive a royal pardon, as long as you can give him some justification for your actions that he can dress up and sell to those Veretians who are crying for your blood. I told him all that's going to happen if he tries that is that either our people won't respect him if he pardons you, or your people will be outraged if he waves the possibility in front of you and then fails to carry through on it. It's a no-win for him."

Something silent and heavy passed between the two princes for a long moment.

"Tell him that I've requested that he not come," Damen finally said. "There's no need to waste his time. I have no justification to offer him."

" _What_?" Nikandros said. "Even if you won't tell me for some stupid reason, you should at least –"

"No," Damen said in that tone that said that was the end of this conversation.

Nikandros might be Damen's friend, but he was also his loyal subject first and foremost. When Damen was adamant like that, suggesting it was truly important to him, Nikandros couldn't quite bring himself to disobey that implicit order to stop arguing.

"I'll take care of it," Laurent promised, clearly not just referring to relaying the message to his brother.

Nikandros had no idea how he should feel about that oath.

"So have you apprised the King of Akielos of the situation while I've been gone?" Laurent asked.

Damen nodded. 

"And is he about to launch missiles in Vere's direction unless we give you up immediately? It would be helpful to have a warning, you see, and sadly the man doesn't seem to ever update his official twitter himself, let alone put anything as useful as that on it."

"You think any world leader is seriously going to send off a warning _tweet_ straight before he fires a missile?" Nikandros asked impatiently. Unlike Laurent, he didn't particularly think this was the time for wisecracks.

Laurent shrugged. "Depends on the leader."

"Well luckily for you, King Theomedes takes things a little more seriously than that. And he was very understanding of the situation," Nikandros lied through his teeth.

Laurent's slow smirk irritated him to no end. "So he's still not done yelling at you for letting it happen, then."

"Be grateful he hasn't directed the full force of his anger at Vere," Nikandros replied. The 'yet' went unsaid, but not unheard.

"There'll be no need for that. I told you, I'll deal with it."

Nikandros might have asked why he should trust Laurent to do that, but Damen cut him off with a heartfelt, "Thank you."

"Consider it repayment for the joy of getting to watch my uncle taking a right hook to the nose."

That same nameless tension from before flared up between them again. Nikandros hadn't felt this much like a third wheel since Damen had gotten so drunk when he turned eighteen that he'd forgotten Nikandros was right there in the room while he'd stripped down and then started undressing the girl he'd just picked up (Nikandros wished that had been the first and last time he'd been subjected to Damen's sex life up close, but he sadly wasn't that lucky). Somehow, even though everyone was fully dressed, this seemed even more like Nikandros's presence was interrupting something deeply personal.

Apparently Damen agreed, for he said, "Nikandros, give us a few minutes alone."

Prince or not, it surely wouldn't kill him to at least try out a 'please' every so often, would it? But Nikandros bowed his head in acquiescence, just like he always eventually did when it mattered. He left them to discuss whatever super-secret things Damen refused to let anyone else in on (or perhaps to have wild I-just-fought-for-your-honour-like-a-caveman sex; could be even odds either way, Nikandros thought).

While he was waiting outside (ignoring the police officers all staring curiously at him as if _he'd_ been the one stupid enough to deck one of Vere's princes while _inside Vere_ , damn it, Damen, really?), he decided he'd better bite the bullet and see how the general population was reacting to this shitshow, just in case there was anything he could do from here to improve the situation.

The news of the incident had apparently been released within the last hour. There was no footage of Damen acting like a starving lion going after an injured zebra, thankfully. However, there were more than enough eyewitness accounts to be patched together. There could be little doubt about the general strokes of what had happened, even if no one really knew _why_ it had occurred.

From what Nikandros could tell, his fellow Akielons were already apparently spoiling for a fight themselves in response to their Prince being 'held captive'. However, King Theomedes was thankfully capable of putting up a much more serene face for the public than he had for Nikandros and his son. His 'certainty' that Vere would do the right thing, which he'd apparently expressed in a press conference held not ten minutes ago (just moments after he'd been screaming down the phone about not trusting the vipers with his son for a second), seemed as though it would go a long way to making the rest of Akielos take a wait-and-see approach, at least until after Damen appeared in court. Nikandros thought it might just be delaying the inevitable, depending on how tomorrow went, but it was still better than nothing.

The rest of the world, who had until then watched Prince Laurent of Vere's apparent self-destruction-by-snark with a sense of confused glee, now just seemed uncertain about who or what the hell they were supposed to be rooting for in this situation, especially since videos of Laurent's initial reaction and later speech had (of course) gone viral.

 _Is it just me,_ someone tweeted in Patran, _or is Laurent handling this debacle with 100% diplomacy and 0% Damianos mockery? #whereisthesaltprince #dontpokethebear_

The Veretians, as expected, were baying for some Akielon blood. The King of Vere's uncle had to go to _hospital_ , they cried (because he'd freaked out over having a damn _nosebleed_ , silently countered Nikandros). Nikandros could see what Laurent had meant about the public reaction if Auguste, King or not, had exercised his discretion to decide whether to just let Damen off the hook without a trial when he'd committed what was widely deemed as a fairly serious assault (unless you were talking to an Akielon, in which case it was considered to be less than a love tap). 

Nikandros was distracted from the scrolling barrage of comments by Laurent emerging from the room. He didn't even glance in Nikandros's direction. He looked as cool and untouchable as if he'd just been in the official negotiations that had been supposed to take place tomorrow, except that his ridiculously overtrimmed jacket, which had been perfectly laced when Nikandros had left the room, was now half undone. Nikandros wondered whether anyone else noticed. Jord probably couldn't have missed it, given how closely he was following as Laurent swept imperiously down the hall (though he'd probably never comment on it even if he did pick up on it, not even to Nikandros). 

Shaking his head, Nikandros re-entered the room. He stared silently, pointedly, at Damen. He didn't have to even say anything for Damen to know what he was asking.

Damen laughed properly for the first time since he'd been separated from Laurent much earlier in the night. "Come on. You only stepped out of the room for ten minutes!"

"And you've been pining for him alone for months. Your stamina may not be what it once was."

"Those are fighting words."

"You've fought enough for one night, don't you think?" Nikandros said more seriously.

Damen's smile fell from his lips. Nikandros did mourn its loss a little, but he knew they had to take this whole thing seriously. There were real ramifications at hand. Things were going to become very problematic if Damen wasn't released on bail tomorrow (and honestly, why should he be, Nikandros wondered, when it was pretty damn clear that Damen was planning on leaving the country, and likely the judge wouldn't believe that Damen was too honourable to not then return for his trial).

Annoyingly, Damen didn't seem to want to discuss his options should he be denied his freedom. Nikandros knew exactly why that was. Damen was taking Laurent at his word, and trusting that Laurent would 'take care of it' and find a way to navigate Damen out of this situation. There was nothing Nikandros was going to be able to say to change his mind about that. 

So Nikandros didn't even try. Only time would tell, anyway. In the interim, they might as well get some rest so that the judge tomorrow didn't think Damen looked like a sleep-deprived lunatic. And Nikandros had a feeling that he, at least, was going to need all of his energy to deal with whatever was going to happen in the morning.

Nikandros let himself drift off as soon as he heard Damen's breaths deepen.

Their morning wake-up call came accompanied by a package and a note.

"You said I could dress you next time if I wanted," Damen read aloud, "and there's no way you can set foot in a courtroom wearing that hideous shirt." He pulled a fresh suit and a silk button-up shirt out of the package. The tie that went with it was the exact same shade as Laurent's outfit last night. 

If Nikandros's lips twitched towards a smile against his will, he'd never admit to it. 

When the time came, the police transported Damen to the court. Nikandros, despite his protests, wasn't allowed to travel with him (and Laurent was not there to overrule them, of course; the _one time_ Nikandros actually wanted to see him, Laurent was apparently nowhere to be found in the whole palace). Nikandros had to get a cab there instead, and it was about fifteen minutes after Damen left before Nikandros managed to find an empty one that would take him.

When Nikandros's taxi pulled up, the amount of press that swarmed him when they recognised him was insane. Nikandros fobbed them off with at least a hundred 'no comment's, but there were throngs of other people to wade through as well, and they didn't make it easy to break free and make it inside. Their outrage and excitement were thick in the air, only slowly waning; it was obvious that Damen had just very recently been brought past on his way into the courthouse. Knowing that he was already inside, Nikandros wasn't about to let anything as basic as an angry mob keep him away.

He finally pushed through and gained entrance to the courthouse once he'd shown his diplomatic ID. Nikandros rushed into the courtroom that had wisely been set aside for Damen's bail hearing rather than trying to lump him in with the other morning applications. Then Nikandros stopped dead at the back of the courtroom, partly because the aisle was chock-full of people, and partly because he could barely believe his own eyes. 

In the first seat at the defence table sat Herode, whom Nikandros knew as one of King Auguste's advisors. A furiously quick Google search on Nikandros's phone revealed that he was also one of the most respected barristers in the country, so there was at least that, but he was also _Veretian_ , and closely connected to the royal family, of which the alleged victim in this case was a part. And so was the man sitting next to him, who was presumably there to instruct Herode. Part of Nikandros wondered what kind of joke this was supposed to be. The rest of him wasn't even surprised at all. Meanwhile, Laurent just sat there between Herode on his right and Damen on his left as if he belonged there (he definitely did _not_ , Nikandros silently seethed).

Damen's father had half a dozen over-qualified and over-paid lawyers who could easily have been flown to Vere this morning to represent him. They probably had been, in fact. Damen had likely just waved them away with a promise that he already had a competent legal team. Nikandros was definitely going to get another earful when King Theomedes found out that his son had rejected his hand-picked lawyers with probably several centuries of legal experience between them in favour of a pretty blond Veretian who hadn't even yet entered the final year of his undergraduate law degree. And that was even putting aside that the exact identity of the young Veretian in question.

If King Theomedes didn't strangle Damen for his recklessness, Nikandros just might consider it.

Everyone in the room other than Nikandros and Herode (for whom it was commonplace) seemed enthralled by having two princes in the room at the same time. There was a flurry of confusion, though, at seeing Prince Laurent sitting with the defence rather than the prosecution. A stern threat from the bailiff that the judge might boot them all out if they didn't all pipe the heck down and take a pew (his exact words, unless Nikandros's Veretian was failing him) had everyone drop their voices to a murmur and scramble for a seat. Nikandros managed to snag a spot at the front, closest to the table where Damen and his 'lawyers' were sitting at. (Nikandros assumed his success in securing that position was probably by virtue of everyone's instinctive desire to get out of his way right then, since he was nearly twice the size of most of them and he'd glared at all the Veretians in his vicinity like they'd just insulted his mother.)

Looking back on it afterwards, Nikandros thought that the 'all rise' command when the judge arrived might have been the last thing said in that room that he'd fully understood. He thought it had little to do with everything being spoken in fast-paced Veretian, because Nikandros had made sure he was quite fluent after the treaty with Vere had gone through years ago (and after Damen had taunted him that he'd already mastered Veretian when he was only sixteen). Besides, even the native Veretians around him quickly started looking lost. It seemed to be more that Nikandros's memory of what was said was little more than a blur of seemingly circular arguments, double talk that would put most other Veretians to shame, and dense legal jargon. As a result, Nikandros couldn't claim he really understood how Herode, who was clearly acting as little more than the direct mouthpiece of a twenty-year-old not-yet-graduated law student, managed to turn a bail application hearing into a complete dismissal of the charges against Damen. Nikandros just decided to put it down to Laurent being as much of a slippery snake as ever and thanked the fates that for once that was working in his and Damen's favour.

Still, the Veretian public, even as confused as they were by the whole thing, might have protested far more rigorously at the bizarre result than they did if they weren't too busy talking instead about the fact that Prince Laurent of Vere, who by all accounts hated Prince Damianos, had not only shown up to defend him in court, but had done so very successfully when he might easily have instead used the opportunity to sabotage his case.

Obviously sensing their incredulousness, Laurent gave the crowds of people lining the barriers set up along the path to the street a somewhat cheeky little wave as he passed. Then he made no attempt to hide that he was inviting Prince Damianos to join him in his chauffeured car heading back to the palace. It was clear to everyone gathered there that Prince Laurent considered all of this just an inconvenient but ultimately inconsequential detour on the way to the business they had scheduled today.

 _They do still hate each other, right?_ pretty much captured the sentiment of uncertainty that Nikandros later saw echoed across the internet.

No, Nikandros thought, they really didn't. And he was starting to wonder if what Damen _did_ so obviously feel might not actually be as far removed from whatever emotions Laurent was hiding away as he'd initially thought.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a long day of statecraft, which Damen was taking part in more and more often now, almost always with Nikandros at his side. Watching as closely as he did, Nikandros didn't have to be a genius to realise that spending hours on end in such meetings was hardly Damen's idea of a perfect day, but he was nonetheless focused and his input was thoughtful. He took it even more seriously now than he had when he'd been fifteen and brimming with pride at first being allowed into Council meetings to learn his future obligations at his father's elbow. 

Damianos might personally have vastly preferred to become an army General, given the choice, but Nikandros could see that he would nonetheless be a great King one day (as long as he stopped making some of his decisions with parts of his anatomy other than his brain, of course).

Far better than Kastor, Nikandros thought darkly, who had made himself absent today, as he often had since the King had decreed that Damen would become more politically active, rendering some of Kastor's past roles obsolete. Kastor could have transitioned into an advisory role more like Nikandros's instead, as was often the case historically with royal siblings in Akielos, but Kastor made it clear he was uninterested. Perhaps his dislike of Kastor made him read too much into it, but to Nikandros that flat refusal seemed needlessly petulant (though he was admittedly glad that it meant he wouldn't have to deal with Kastor trying to influence Damen on a daily basis). 

Nikandros couldn't quite imagine Damen acting similarly in an equivalent situation. He'd been raised to ascend to King, yes, but if King Theomedes today announced that Kastor would be restored to the position of heir apparent he'd held prior to Damen's birth, Nikandros imagined that Damen would accept his father's decision with equanimity (probably more so that the general population of Akielos would), even if it were tinged with disappointment. And if his brother were the rightful King, Damen would surely do what he could to help his brother lead (though thankfully that was never a situation they had to worry about coming to pass).

Nikandros might have said that he'd never seen two brothers who looked so alike but were so different in temperament, but the Veretian King and his brother still had the Princes of Akielos beaten on that count.

That was, for once, the first time Nikandros had to spare a thought towards the Veretian royals all day. It was slow-boiling tensions with the Vaskian Empire rather than with Vere that had been the topic of debate, which Nikandros thought was a nice change of pace, even if the possibility that they'd be clashing with Vask in the future was hardly optimal.

The last thing Nikandros felt like doing, then, was ending his otherwise Vere-free day by walking into his rooms to find Laurent casually waiting there for him. Again.

This time he at least wasn't spread out on top of Nikandros's bed covers, but rather had propped himself on the edge of Nikandros's desk in the main room. Nikandros suspected the thin wooden legs would have collapsed under his own weight, but Laurent somehow managed to make the position look comfortable and not at all precarious.

"You know," Nikandros said, "Damianos's room is just up the hall. If you insist on coming to the palace instead of just picking up a phone or sending an email, then at least think about cutting out the middleman and just talking to him directly in future."

"I already know where his room is," Laurent said. 

Oh did he now? 

"You might also consider that King Theomedes would likely arrest you for espionage if he knew you've come here multiple times without permission."

"Please," Laurent derided, "as if I'm stupid enough to be caught by the substandard security in place here."

"I could easily turn you in, though. That would certainly put a stop to these unwanted visits."

"You wouldn't do that," Laurent said, sounding supremely confident.

He was even more infuriating when he was right; Nikandros would never do that to Damen.

"Why are you here this time?" Nikandros asked. He couldn't keep the put-upon tone out of his voice (all right, so he didn't really try very hard, but still).

"Rumour has it that Damianos is becoming something of a social recluse of late, and that it means he must be in the process of settling down with someone. You understand, I'm sure, that Vere would be concerned if the future King of Akielos is preparing for some kind of marriage arrangement that that might undermine our recent attempts to break down the barriers between us and Akielos."

'Vere' would be concerned. Right. (As if Auguste, who didn't stand on ceremony, wouldn't happily just call Damen himself to ask, and then probably offer to host a celebration for him if it turned out to be true). 

"I wouldn't think you'd be one to listen to rumours," Nikandros commented. "You might not like what they have to say about _you_."

Laurent shrugged. "That's rather the point. They can say whatever they like; what I'm interested in is the truth."

"Maybe you should ask Jokaste, then. She has more reason to know about the Prince's romantic entanglements than I do, and from what I've seen, you seem to get along remarkably well with her." Too well. Just the sight of the two of them within ten feet of each other scared Nikandros half to death every time it happened. Though at least if they talked about this together, they might stop involving Nikandros in it. Much to his dismay, it was apparently in Nikandros's job description to have to listen to Jokaste complain that Damen hadn't seemed interested in so much as touching her for months now.

"I did ask her, in fact," Laurent replied. 

Ah, Nikandros thought, so 'there's a rumour' really meant 'Jokaste is spreading rumours'. He was only surprised about that insofar as he would have expected to see her passive-aggressive commentary about it show up on Twitter by now if she'd decided to spread her frustration around.

"And you think I'd know better than her who Prince Damianos sleeps with?"

"Probably better than he remembers it himself, yes."

Nikandros said drolly, "Not lately. It would be difficult for him to forget such an uncharacteristic dry spell. But you can reassure your country that that's not because there's a marriage arrangement. I think you already know that the Prince is not the type to auction himself off for political gain." 

Nikandros didn't think he was imagining the brief upwards quirk of Laurent's lips in response to that (of course he would find it funny that he had Damen so tied in knots that he couldn't even think about anyone else).

Nikandros narrowed his eyes at him as Laurent moved to slip from his room, apparently done with him. 

"You came all the way to Akielos just for that, did you?" 

Laurent seemed unconcerned as he threw back over his shoulder, "Among other things."

He disappeared out Nikandros's door, but Nikandros had a feeling he wasn't going to leave Ios altogether straight away. At this point, he didn't even know how to feel about that.

The next morning, Nikandros woke to an early morning call saying that the situation on the border with Vask had unexpectedly escalated in the middle of the night. There had been a series of systematic attacks on a military base near the base of the mountains, from which a group of Vaskians seemed to have emerged with a large range of Akielon weapons. The Empress claimed it was a raiding gang that was entirely unaffiliated with her rule, and that she would put all her resources into seeking their arrest on her side of the border. 

King Theomedes, unconvinced, seemed determined to take steps against them himself. He asked Nikandros to bring Damen with him to an emergency meeting as soon as possible, because apparently Damen wasn't answering calls from his father (at five in the morning after Laurent had showed up in Ios last night; imagine that). 

Nikandros's calls weren't going through either, which wasn't unexpected, although it was true Damen rarely had his phone turned off. But nor was he in his room when Nikandros (against his own better judgment) barged in there to retrieve him. There was no sign that Laurent had been there, and he certainly wasn't present now. However, there _were_ a decent number of clothes hangers scattered on the floor, as if Damen had yanked a few outfits out of his closet since the staff would have come through doing their daily tidy the previous day. Nikandros would also be willing to guess that there was a duffle missing from the stash of travel bags Damen kept on hand.

There was only one thing that would convince his Prince to run off into the night without telling anyone (even Nikandros) and with his damn phone either turned off or outside signal range. A call to Laurent revealed that his phone was equally uncontactable. 

Nikandros didn't believe in coincidences (and was actually half convinced that 'coincidences' might have been an idea that Veretians invented to cover up their schemes). 

He phoned Jord, yielding the information that early yesterday Laurent had suddenly insisted on going alone, without even his bodyguards at his side, to the isolated old castle his family owned in Acquitart, because he was looking for some privacy. (Nikandros, who knew where Laurent had really travelled yesterday, thought but didn't say: and you just believed him?) 

Auguste (who was just as gullible as Jord, but to whom Laurent might have been more likely to give an honest description of his travel plans) was in a meeting and couldn't be reached for anything less than an emergency. Declaring this situation as an emergency, with all the scrutiny that would invite, was of course exactly the last thing Nikandros wanted to do.

Nikandros sighed. It would seem he really had no other choice.

He had to talk to Vannes.

"Nik!" Vannes greeted him when she picked up without even waiting for him to identify himself. Of course his number was saved in her contacts list. _Of course_.

"It's 'Nikandros'," he corrected tersely.

"Of course, darling. Not that you're not very welcome to call me any time you like, but to what do I owe this rare pleasure?" 

Don't engage, Nikandros warned himself. Whenever he'd spoken more than ten sentences at length with Vannes, it seemed to be enough time for her mind to stray to considering whether Nikandros might be up for a tumble (probably a literal tumble, Nikandros thought, if the talk of her bedroom habits held any truth). He wasn't her usual type, Vannes had once said (because he had a cock, Nikandros suspected), but she might make an exception for him ("No, really, that's fine," Nikandros had said quickly. "You have a type for a reason. Don't feel you have to deviate from that just for me.")

She was certainly striking enough to catch most hot-blooded men's attention, but it simply wasn't worth it. Unlike Damen, Nikandros had no desire to have a Veretian snake unhinge their jaw and devour him whole. He preferred something a little less complicated.

"Do you know where he is?" Nikandros asked. He didn't bother specifying who. They only really had one person in common, thankfully.

"Sorry, I didn't think to plant a GPS tracker on him, though that's not actually a bad idea for the future. I do know that he's away from Arles for the weekend. He claimed he wanted quiet and privacy to study for his exams next week. But then, you know him; he's hardly disorganised enough to have left studying to the last minute, and he honestly could have been teaching the classes instead of taking them anyway."

Clearly Vannes knew Laurent well enough to know a lie when she heard it. 

"Why the concern?" Vannes asked, her voice a little too sweet to not set Nikandros's teeth on edge. "You wouldn't happen to have reason to think Prince Laurent is in some kind of trouble, would you?"

"Not at all. There are another series of trade negotiations in Akielos in two weeks, and I just wanted to confirm whether he was planning to travel here to take part," Nikandros lied. "As you say, he has exams, so I thought he might be too busy."

"And that was such a pressing issue that you had to call me to search for his current whereabouts instead of just shooting off a private message to him?"

"I hate social media with a vengeance," Nikandros said, much more truthfully this time. 

"Is that why you didn't respond to my friend request on Facebook?" 

"Um," Nikandros said. "Sorry, I have to go."

"Yes, things are likely to be rather hectic in Akielos right now, as I understand it. Do ring me again once things have calmed down, though, won't you. Or maybe I'll swing an invite to those negotiations you mentioned. Two weeks from now, wasn't it?"

Nikandros hung up without dignifying that with a response, and then aggressively ignored it when she immediately texted him a kissing-and-winking emoji.

Damen owed him forever for making him deal with this (and for about a hundred other things, so Nikandros supposed he'd just add it to the ever-growing list of earned favours that he'd never cash in on).

Nikandros had to suck it up and arrive for the meeting with the King and his Council without Damen in tow. 

"If you remember, you gave him a few days off, Exalted," Nikandros said. "He wouldn't have expected to be needed."

The King frowned. "But since you can't contact him, and you don't know where he is, I assume his guards are still in Ios rather than with him."

Nikandros, who'd prefer not to get whoever had been on duty last night (Pallas, if he wasn't mistaken) into trouble, was quick to say, "It wouldn't be the first time he's slipped out a window to get some time away from them." (It also wouldn't be the first time Laurent had _helped_ Damen get away from people who might pursue him, Nikandros remembered.)

"And knowing that, you didn't suggest that we should tighten his security?"

Nikandros tried not to flinch (he'd just thrown himself under the bus there, hadn't he?)

The King sighed. "Fine. I assume he'll show up later in the morning when his bedmate kicks him out or his hangover has faded. For now, we can't afford not to start without him."

Although Nikandros would usually have turned his phone to silent during a meeting with the King, today he left it on in case Damen rang him. Instead, in the middle of the meeting, there was the by now far too familiar series of chirps, which quickly increased in quantity until the sounds bled into each other, that suggested Nikandros's alerts were going mad. His heart sunk a little. What had Damen got himself into this time?

"Please excuse me, Exalted," Nikandros requested. "I have to check this."

"Yes, yes, get that racket out of here. And if it's my son contacting you, tell him to get back here already," the King said.

As he slipped from the Council chambers, Nikandros brought up his feed. 

There had been news about the army base attacks all morning, which was no surprise. However, apparently there was now inside information from the palace (Nikandros narrowed his eyes; if he knew the King at all, heads were going to roll for that) that Prince Damianos was unexpectedly absent from Ios, that he might have been missing since the previous evening when he'd last been seen in a meeting, and that he couldn't even be contacted or located despite the dire need for his presence this morning.

Then suddenly there were reports that in the last day there was no activity on Damianos's bank accounts (even more heads would roll for that breach) that would suggest he'd so much as bought a coffee, let alone paid for some kind of last-minute trip away from the palace, and nothing had been electronically pre-paid in advance either.

That was at about the point when TMZ reported Damen's 'kidnapping', as they put it. Then the internet promptly went insane (more so than usual, anyway).

As he read the progression of twitter comments, Nikandros's forehead sunk closer and closer towards the surface of the hallway wall until finally it was pressed flat against the surface as if for support, his eyes now closed and his phone hanging limply from his hand. He was too damn tired for this.

 _Vask attacks Akielos in the night and by morning we can't find the Crown Prince of Akielos anywhere. Coincidence? #damianosdisappears_

_Would Damianos actually mind being kidnapped by a hoard of Vaskian women, though? #damianosdisappears #soundslikeparadise_

_Hey, Prince Laurent hasn't tweeted in over a day! Are we sure it's Damianos who's been kidnapped tho, lol #saltprince #damianosdisappears_

_Can't imagine Laurent staying silent about this if he isn't hiding something. Vask and Vere have close ties #damianosdisappears #conspiracy_

_Hmm, it could benefit Vere if Akielos is too busy looking for Damianos to deal with Vask straight away #damianosdisappears #conspiracy_

_Could Laurent lure Damianos outside the palace and then have him taken captive? Hell yes! #damianosdisappears #toonice #toogullible_

_WTF people, obviously Vere would just hire someone for that. Prince Laurent's got better things to do. #damianosdisappears #voiceofreason_

_It's telling that no one's actually arguing that Vere would never have Prince Damianos kidnapped/killed, no? #damianosdisappears #conspiracy_

_King Auguste is too nice to put some kind of hit on someone. Prince Laurent, though… #damianosdisappears #conspiracy #plausibledeniability_

Of course, worse than the tweets (at least according to Nikandros's poor retinas, which could never unsee it) was the fact that some enterprising individual used the opportunity to post a picture of Damen's 'current captivity'. Laurent and Damen's faces had been photoshopped into some kind of BDSM scene, which depicted the man now wearing Damen's face wearing next to nothing except gold manacles, which were chained to the wall, while 'Laurent' stood over him with a whip in hand. They had chosen a shot of Laurent where he'd been caught smiling smugly (at Damen, Nikandros seemed to remember), and a picture of Damen looking angry and frustrated ( _not_ at Laurent, though it probably should have been). Nikandros had a sneaking suspicion that the picture might have already been floating around long before now in the corner of the internet where people insisted that the Princes of Vere and Akielos were taking out their dislike on each other in the bedroom (which was still a lot closer to the truth than most people). 

At that point his social media browsing was interrupted by a phone call from King Theomedes. Nikandros truly hoped that _he_ didn't see that picture. 

"Why am I now being told that the world thinks my son is 'missing'?" King Theomedes demanded as soon as Nikandros swiped to answer. "Where is he?"

"I still don't know, exactly," Nikandros had to admit. He was quick to add, "But I do have reason to think that he's fine and will probably show up in a few days none the worse for wear."

"'A few days'. 'Probably'," the King repeated flatly. "So I should only _probably_ not be worried. And when I provide an official statement in response to these rumours that Vere has effectively committed an act of war on us, I should say that it's fine, no one in the entire country knows where the heir to the throne has unexpectedly disappeared to, but don't worry, he's _probably_ not lying dead at the bottom of a river somewhere. Is that what you're telling me?"

Nikandros debated which would make the King angrier: if he actually answered that, or if he just hung up the phone and ignored any calls that didn't originate from Damen (or Laurent) until this whole thing blew over. 

He did know one thing: _nothing_ would make King Theomedes overreact worse than the truth that right now his son was probably finally holed up in bed somewhere with Prince Laurent of Vere.

"We'll find him," Nikandros promised instead, even if he had no idea how he was supposed to do that. If Laurent had been the one to plan this getaway, there would probably be minimal evidence left behind for Nikandros to trace.

Two hours later, the press conference that was supposed to be about Akielos's response to the Vaskian raids on the border instead was all about one thing: where was Prince Damianos?

King Theomedes responded, "You know how it is. He's a young man intent on enjoying his last gasps of freedom before he settles down fully into his new political role, and eventually into his position as King. If I recall my own youth, it's not unusual to occasionally want a weekend away from your father's eye." There were titters of laughter all through the mass of reporters. "The only difference now compared to when I was his age is that the public immediately panics if you go more than three hours between 'tweets'."

A reporter opined, "The concern is more because we understand that he didn't inform anyone that he intended to travel, and now we have sources saying he can't be contacted at all when Akielos is in a time of crisis."

"Akielos is in a time of deliberation on how to proceed, but we are hardly in 'crisis'," the King corrected firmly. "And much as my son has a lot to offer and I prefer his involvement where possible, I've been making decisions as King on my own for decades now, and hopefully will continue to do so for some years yet. Prince Damianos's temporary absence from the palace in no way leaves Akielos vulnerable. It's unfortunate, but he had no way of anticipating that there would be a pressing issue to deal with in Ios today, as last night's events came as a surprise to us all. Though, of course, when he returns I'll be _strongly encouraging_ him to keep his phone turned on in future. Or to post a few geotagged photos to his Facebook, at the very least."

There was more laughter. Whoever's job it had been to prepare the King to give these kinds of answers, they should probably be given a raise. In all his years by Damen's side, Nikandros had never heard Damen's father being anything approaching _funny_. And Nikandros was pretty sure the King had no idea what geotagging even was. 

"And what of the stories circulating that Prince Laurent of Vere is involved in your son's disappearance?"

The smile the King offered in response to that was all teeth; the kind of expression that tended to kick the hindbrain into an automatic fight-or-flight dilemma. "My son was until very recently a decorated soldier, and he continues to be a superior athlete who can more than handle himself. You're asking me if I give any credence to some jokers who say that Prince Laurent managed to kidnap Prince Damianos? I would like to see that _boy_ , who's half his size and a quarter of his strength, just _try_ it."

Ah, now _that_ was King Theomedes through and through, not paraphrased words from some speech-writer. The media would probably have a field day with the implied insult to Vere's Crown Prince, but at least that would take some of the focus off Damen's continued 'missing' status.

In the end, probably what helped a lot more that the King's comments, though, was that the following morning the media found out, if not exactly where Damianos was currently located, then at least where he'd last been seen, and that he might have a reason for being out of contact unrelated to any political conspiracy. 

A sheepish boat rental company worker came forward and admitted that Prince Damianos had chartered a yacht and its crew the previous day, with his return scheduled for Tuesday. 

"I don't know the yacht's exact current location, since you don't really ask too many questions when it's the Prince, do you, but I understand the course was for somewhere out past Isthima. And of course I'll put King Theomedes in contact with the captain immediately. I just wish I'd seen the news yesterday so everyone wouldn't have to have worried for no reason. Who knew a weekend break could almost turn into some international manhunt?"

And, the reporters asked, was Prince Laurent of Vere with him?

"Ah, no… I mean, apart from Prince Damianos, they were all women, weren't they. Twenty of them. Vaskian, by the look of most of them, and beautiful to a one." 

Akielos and Vask weren't on the best of terms right now, the media pointed out. Could the Vaskian women have been taking Prince Damianos out to sea against his will?

"Oh, _definitely_ not. It looked as though he was going to have a good few days on the water, put it that way."

Nikandros was present when King Theomedes did indeed speak to the ship's captain, who'd put Damen himself on the radio.

"This is your idea of improving relations with Vask, is it?" King Theomedes had asked.

"It's a start?" Damen replied weakly. It probably would have been better if he hadn't phrased it as a question.

The King made an odd growling noise in the back of his throat that suggested he was barely restraining himself from yelling. He was probably reminding himself that the yacht's crew were likely to be listening in on this conversation.

"Just get back here by tomorrow morning," he settled for snapping.

It probably served Damen right that when he arrived back into the port he was mobbed by paparazzi. They tried to get the Vaskian women to account for how they'd spent the last two days, but the women just shrugged and made it clear they didn't understand the language.

It served Damen right even more so that as soon as he arrived into Ios he was practically frog-marched into the King's office, where he was presumably dressed down for the whole hour that father and son were alone together inside. Thankfully, for once Nikandros not only wasn't the target of the yelling, but he also didn't have to be present for it. He wasn't called in until Theomedes's Council was also called for. Apparently they were finally going to be able to include Damen in the consideration of how to handle the Vask situation.

"At least your little holiday might have given you a unique new perspective on how the Vaskians are feeling towards Akielos, I suppose," King Theomedes said.

"They… didn't exactly speak a lot of Akielon," Damen admitted. His flush showed through his newly-tanned skin. "And you know I'm not fluent in Vaskian."

The King sighed. Nikandros knew the feeling well.

They were locked away in discussions for what remained of the day, and it was eventually decided that Damen would be sent to the border for a week to liaise with the affected army base (which seemed to Nikandros to be remarkably like a reward for bad behaviour, since Damen was clearly looking forward to being back among military men).

"Though you have no idea how tempted I am to have your doctor insert a tracker under your skin in case you go missing on the way there," the King warned.

Meanwhile, the Ambassador to Vask would go to Skarva and witness whether the Empress's promise to resolve the thefts on her side were being followed through upon, or if they were mere lip service. Nikandros was just glad they were giving Vask that chance, rather than just barging over the border and riling them up. Either King Theomedes was warier of the Vaskian Empire's strength than he would be with other foreign powers, or he was just mellowing in his old age (Nikandros _really_ doubted it was the latter).

With that decided, the meeting finally adjourned, and Nikandros followed Damen silently back towards his rooms.

A glance at his phone on the way revealed that while they'd been in the long meeting, Prince Laurent had also re-emerged into the public eye. People apparently found the timing suspicious. However, for all the people who followed every move the royal families made, and were more than willing to launch into wild speculation, apparently not one person other than Nikandros noticed that in the first round of high-definition photos the media was able to capture of Laurent once he arrived back in Arles, there was a light but clear smattering of freckles across Laurent's nose and just above his collarbones that he hadn't had in pictures taken just days before (or, for that matter, when he'd appeared in Nikandros room just hours before) his supposed retreat to the dark solitude of Acquitart.

Nikandros honestly had no idea how Laurent always seemed to have everyone fooled. Even (especially) Damen.

But once they were in the privacy of Damen's rooms, Nikandros quickly realised that there was no point in trying to condemn Damen for running off with Laurent like that. It would have no impact, since Damen obviously didn't regret anything about the last few days. Anyway, it wasn't as if Damen didn't clearly already know what Nikandros would have said.

Instead, Nikandros just commented, "So. Twenty Vaskian women." 

Damen said nothing. If Nikandros hadn't already known the truth of it, that alone would have given it away, because if the weekend had gone how it appeared on the surface, Damen would have flopped onto the bed melodramatically and regaled Nikandros for far too long with 'complaints' about how tired his latest series of partners had left him. It was the kind of scene Nikandros had been too familiar with in the past, though admittedly twenty in the space of a weekend would definitely have been a record for him. But recently there had been no seven-hour romps with professional athletes or private parties hosting several women (and occasionally men) at a time. Even the less ambitious bedplay seemed to have trailed off into nothingness. All signs pointed to Damen having more or less outgrown his previous habit of immediately taking anyone who caught his eye to his bed. Or perhaps it was more truthful to say that Damen's eye was already thoroughly caught, to the point that he just took no notice of anyone else anymore.

It occurred to Nikandros that perhaps that had been at least part of the reason why Laurent had been making Damen wait all along. 

That, and he wouldn't be Laurent if he actually made things easy for anyone.

However, though Damen didn't force him to listen to a summary of his weekend antics the way he once might have, Damen did still smile in that way that somehow didn't make people (even Nikandros, miraculously) want to punch him in the mouth even though it was undeniably self-satisfied. 

"If you're going to tell me that he was the equivalent of twenty Vaskian women, don't," Nikandros warned. "I already know more about your ridiculous courtship than I ever wanted to, thanks."

And yet, after several moments' pause, Nikandros couldn't quite stop himself from asking, "Did Laurent get picked up from the yacht before you made land, or was he dressed as one of the women?"

The return of Damen's blush, deeper now than it was earlier, provided his answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, let's be real, Nikandros is speaking for me when he says "I hate social media with a vengeance", though he probably has more reason to here than I do. Why am I writing a fic that features social media then? IDK, just cause I'm weird that way. FYI, that's why I have no fandom-related Tumblr or Twitter or whatever, although I do occasionally fall into the black hole of lurking through all the gorgeous art posts on Tumblr, because how could I not.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crawls back to this fic nearly 5 months later…* I am trash. But hey, if it helps, this is actually earlier than I expected to post this chapter. I passed my competency evaluation that determines whether I can continue with my degree, and what better way to celebrate than fic? (I'm not just procrastinating so I don't have to study for my next exam yet. Of course not.)
> 
> But man, this chapter is seriously long. Don't expect the next/last chapter to be this long, considering it'll be an epilogue-ish thing.

_Prince Damianos is apparently enjoying his new diplomatic role. But I hear negotiations with Vask were long and hard. #royalsexboat_

Nikandros rolled his eyes at what must have been at least the thousandth bad joke about the Prince of Akielos's 'unique notion of improving relations with Vask'. Of course, social media and blogs, late night talk shows, and even some supposedly legitimate news sources alike all paled in comparison to Laurent's near-constant roasts directed at Damen, King Theomedes, the royal security force of Akielos, Akielon journalists individually and as a whole, and even Nikandros himself for 'utterly failing the basics of his duty as babysitter'. 

_I'd encourage you to have him fitted for a collar,_ Laurent followed his tweets up by PM'ing Nikandros, _but I daresay it would take a firmer hand than yours to actually keep him leashed. Unfortunately I'm far too busy to offer my services there. Someone has to keep Twitter entertained._

Nikandros wasn't particularly proud to admit it (not least because he had no illusions that he'd managed to come out on top), but that prompted what amounted to a two-day-long private chat wrestling match as Nikandros vented his annoyance in Laurent's direction and Laurent increasingly egged him on with every snide or flippant response. 

However, that came to an abrupt end, at least on Nikandros's part, when Damen started shooting his best friend suspicious looks and commenting that Nikandros seemed to be talking to Laurent more regularly than Damen himself was. 

"Relax. We're arguing, not sexting," Nikandros countered dryly.

"It's Laurent; the two aren't mutually exclusive," Damen pointed out.

Which was more than Nikandros ever needed to know, thanks. Just the thought of it was mortifying enough that Nikandros started immediately closing the messages without responding every time they popped up onto his phone, which seemed to mollify Damen. But apparently it prompted Laurent to ask Damen why Nikandros wasn't responding anymore, and Damen must have been honest (as always, damn it), because suddenly the new messages were all full of flirty emojis and the kind of horrifically cheesy pick-up lines Nikandros would have expected of Damen at about age 15. 

Nikandros seriously considered – not for the first time recently – deleting all of his social media accounts and changing his phone number. Maybe he could just take over Damen's instead. At least that would make it easier to stop him from publicly responding to Laurent's barbs, which would only throw more fuel on the fire.

However, as per usual, Nikandros couldn't just ignore the idiocy of social media, because otherwise he might not have been aware that, beyond those who were willing to treat it all as a massive joke, there was an alarmingly large contingent of Veretians who were pushing more actively than ever for the dissolution of the alliance between Vere and Akielos. They claimed that Akielos had already broken whatever small amount of trust had existed by hurling baseless accusations (which weren't baseless at all, considering Laurent _had_ ultimately kidnapped Damen from Ios for the weekend) in order to try to smear Prince Laurent's good name (which was an oxymoron if ever Nikandros had heard one, and hadn't the Veretians themselves been the ones busy villainising their own heir apparent for months up until now?). The worst part was that, according to Vannes, the most disgruntled of the Veretians also seemed to be the ones in a position to put real pressure on King Auguste.

Much like Akielos, Vere was only able to maintain a functional monarchy in the middle of a sea of democratic nations due to the ongoing good will of its people. If public support (or dissent, in this case) was strong enough, the King would be seriously risking his position by going against it. Especially when it occurred on the tail of months of him seemingly ignoring the growing discontent over Laurent and his antics.

So as much as Nikandros hated it, there was no way around it. If they were going to stop the Vere-Akielos treaty from degrading, not to mention to get Vere's regrettably much-needed help with Akielos's ongoing issues with Vask, Akielos – and Prince Damianos in particular, even though the accusations hadn't come from him – was going to have to do some serious damage control. And unfortunately, this little apology tour required that they step back into the snake pit. 

It didn't escape Nikandros's notice, or anyone else's, that this trip was the first time Damen had set foot in Vere since he'd been released from Veretian custody after his arrest. 

_Assaults one prince, falsely accuses another of kidnapping. Akielos is going down if Damianos f*cks up again this trip. #3strikes #royalfeud_

_Bet Prince Laurent's now pissed he got Damianos a get out of jail free card last time he was in Arles. Won't be that lucky again. #royalfeud_

_Heard Prince Laurent insisted Damianos come to Arles instead of having the meeting in Ios. Drawing him in close so he can strike? #royalfeud_

_#saltprince dishing out burns double time today leading up to royal meeting. Shit about to get real. Watch yer ass Damianos. #royalfeud_

_Are they even seriously fighting tho? Pretty sure this is just how Prince Laurent communicates with everyone except his brother #royalfeud_

Nikandros considered hitting 'follow' on that last. (It could be so nice to have a potential voice of reason on his Twitter feed. Sort of soothing, he imagined.)

But he was distracted by the next tweet before he could.

_Think Prince Laurent has direct access to nukes? Let's be real, this #royalfeud is only gonna end one way. #illbeinmybunker_

… Well that escalated quickly. (For fuck's sake.)

Life as a royal advisor must have been far simpler before the internet, Nikandros couldn't help but think wistfully. Hell, if he'd been lucky enough to have lived a few hundred years earlier, the average person on the street probably wouldn't have been able to recognise their Crown Prince's face out of context, let alone immediately knowing about his weekend activities as they unfolded, or hearing the minute details and potential consequences of his supposed disagreement with a foreign prince. And they certainly couldn't have shared derisive or inflammatory commentary on those things with tens of thousands of people, if not more.

Nikandros hit the screen-off button, debating whether he should just let his phone 'accidentally' slip down the side of the spacious backseat of the diplomatic car so that he didn't have to deal with this ridiculousness for the entirety of the week. He might even be able to claim it stopped working altogether because of the cold. Bad enough that he would have to deal with the rampant speculation of the Veretians in person for five whole days without adding the stupidity of the internet to his woes.

Instead, Nikandros slipped the phone into his pocket, knowing he'd probably be given reason to regret doing so at least once before they returned to Akielos.

Even approaching from half a mile up the road, Nikandros could already detect the overpowering reek of opulence and indulgence that wafted from the palace at Arles. A different man would perhaps, on seeing the expensive golden details and the meticulously crafted turrets currently frosted with sparkling layers of ice and snow, have looked forward to being catered to in the midst of such obvious beauty and wealth.

Nikandros just wanted to turn around and get back on the damn plane.

In response to the instant overdose of Veretian decorations from the moment of their arrival through the gates, Damen radiated less of an undercurrent of discomfort than Nikandros. However, Nikandros imagined that was less because he'd already grown accustomed to the overdone tiles and tapestries and gilding during their couple of recent visits to Arles, and more to do with any distaste for the decorations being outweighed by what (or rather who) else awaited him within the palace walls. Even if these meetings hadn't been absolutely necessary at this point, Nikandros knew there would still have been no chance of retreating now.

There was a formal reception supposedly befitting the arrival of foreign royalty, but to Nikandros it seemed – like the palace itself – to be just pretty window dressing for the undercurrent of scorn that permeated the room. Not that Damen probably noticed as much, blinded as he was by seeing Laurent in person for the first time since he'd finally managed to bed him. Laurent officially greeted Damen on Auguste's behalf, assuring him and all those present that the King would be arriving back to the palace within the hour, in time for the reception dinner. He announced that it would be his pleasure to keep Damen company in the meantime, and although Laurent was entirely straight-faced as he said that, Damen's expression was a little (a lot) too eager. Combined with the way the two disappeared from sight not five minutes later, Nikandros could hardly believe that no one seemed to put two and two together. Yet he was fairly confident that no one had noticed, because surely, among this crowd, if anyone had been suspicious they'd have been gossiping openly about it while silently trying to figure out how to use it to their advantage.

Damen's absence meant that Nikandros was left to his own devices without even being shown a moment's regard. Nikandros would have called that an unforgivable oversight if it were any other official reception, but 'oversight' was hardly the right word when Laurent had most definitely done it on purpose to get a rise out of him (probably so he could later hear accounts from his fellow Veretians about how poorly Nikandros had fared trapped alone among the vipers). Without Damen by his side, the rest of the Veretians seemed disinclined to treat Nikandros with any kind of civility, or even act like he was anything more than a strange background prop for them to step around. Many of them didn't even seem to regard him as someone capable of understanding their language, judging by how freely they talked to each other within earshot of him.

"Do you think the Prince has taken Damianos off to insult him to his heart's content somewhere where he can't be overheard?" one of the Veretians asked curiously.

"Doubtful. I mean, Prince Laurent hasn't exactly shied away from inflicting a very public kind of humiliation so far, has he? Although, I suppose he might have decided it would be in poor taste to obviously mistreat the Akielons while they're supposedly here as our 'honoured guests'." (Ha, what had given them the impression that Laurent cared about 'taste'? And which Akielon were they looking at, anyway? Personally, Nikandros felt very mistreated). "Perhaps if he's so worried about being seen, it's because he's instead taking the opportunity to do something less than wholesome."

Nikandros looked sidelong at them, wondering if they'd figured out the truth after all. But no, their expressions were wicked rather than lascivious, so they probably thought Laurent more likely to use the lack of oversight to slip drugs into Damen's wine rather than to slip Damen into his bed. (And yet somehow the Veretians felt justified in complaining when Akielos suspected Laurent of wrongdoing?) Luckily for everyone involved, Nikandros knew that while Laurent might be the devil incarnate, he was a devil who had reason to want to keep Damen in relatively good condition.

For his sanity, Nikandros resolved to just entirely avoid all the Veretian scheming going on around him, at least as long as it remained at the level of idle speculation. He even managed to duck Vannes and her gossip, though he doubted he'd be able to continue doing so all night; she was persistent. However, that left him with no one in the room that he wanted to so much as make eye contact with, even if the King's uncle seemed determined to catch his gaze, repeatedly glancing Nikandros's way while looking entirely too pleased for comfort. Nikandros eventually settled for talking to the one man in the room who might actually have been as uncomfortable in the court at Arles as Nikandros. At the very least, Lord Berenger was the only one who seemed to think it a good idea to show Nikandros some respect. However, even if he might have been the most agreeable and courteous of the available options, the interaction was still soured by Berenger's attention only being half on Nikandros, the rest of his mind clearly diverted to a young man across the room with a crowd of admirers gathered around him.

Nikandros wondered impatiently when Laurent and Damen would show their faces again. It wasn't that he particularly wanted to be in Laurent's presence, and he couldn't imagine he'd be able to pry Damen from Laurent's side. But their return would at least bring their respective guards along with them. 

However, when Jord appeared through the main archway, there was no sign that he was accompanying Laurent, and Jord looked slightly perturbed. That couldn't be good. Nikandros found himself making a beeline for him for a very different reason than he'd intended.

"The Princes?" Nikandros prompted, his tone brusque but still concealing the worry he suddenly felt.

"His Highness dismissed us, though he did let me leave Orlant and Aimeric on watch, at least." 

"Aimeric?" Nikandros repeated, trying to keep his voice unemotional. "I thought you were usually the one partnered with Orlant."

Jord's eyebrow twitched slightly, not quite a frown. "The Prince insisted on those two."

Well that was strangely foreboding.

Nikandros was about to point out that the moment Laurent chose to say he didn't need Jord around was probably going to be when he most needed someone trustworthy and reliable to watch him, but then Nikandros saw the flicker of self-deprecation and exasperation on Jord's face that said that he knew all of that all too well, but there was nothing he could do about it when his Prince set his mind to something.

Well. Nikandros _had_ always suspected they were kindred spirits.

It wasn't the worst case scenario, Nikandros reminded himself, because that would have involved Laurent entirely ditching his guards. Or Damen doing the same, for that matter. Thankfully, Nikandros could at least be sure the latter hadn't happened, because Lazar had just arrived in the room with several of Laurent's other guards, and there was no way he wouldn't instead have been holed up in some semi-private corner if Damen had also dismissed Pallas from his guard duties for a few hours.

Nonetheless, Jord's words did still cause Nikandros to tense. He knew Orlant well enough, and could be fairly certain he was trustworthy. But Nikandros only knew Aimeric by reputation, and he didn't have a great one, to say the least. If Vannes's (mostly unwanted) rumourmongering was to be believed, apparently he'd initially made a fool of himself trying to catch Laurent's eye, and then had turned his attention to the easier target posed by Laurent's guard Captain as soon as he decided Laurent was too frigid to take the bait. Someone like that, who openly sought out power and so easily shifted focus, was worrying. It reminded Nikandros too much of Jokaste, who had recently (though not nearly as recently as she wanted people to believe, Nikandros suspected) taken up with the second in line for the Akielon throne, since the Crown Prince had stopped preferring her. And any comparison to Jokaste was not, in Nikandros's view, a positive one.

As if to prove Nikandros's feeling of apprehension was warranted, his phone pinged less than five minutes later. 

He cringed, because his lockscreen read:  
_**Hellspawn**_  
_I blame Damen._

(So did Nikandros, to be fair, whatever this was about. After all, he wouldn't have to deal with Laurent at all except in passing at political functions if not for Damen's awful taste in bed partners.)

A moment later Jord's phone also let out a series of high-pitched beeps. Nikandros was able to glance at the message as Jord did.

_**His Royal Highness** _  
_Crowd control required._

Those three words (which were even more migraine-inducing than the three he'd sent to Nikandros) were followed by a GPS location that suggested that Laurent, and Damen by extension, wasn't even inside the damn castle anymore. (Of course they weren't. Of course.)

Nikandros gave up, honestly. He was just going to go find an empty room and sleep until it was time to fly back to Akielos, and Damen could just deal with this himself, because Nikandros really was done this time. And yet…

Nikandros and Jord disappeared out of the main reception hall without the courtiers noticing their alarm, before breaking into an outright run towards the palace exit. "What the hell has your Prince done this time?" Nikandros asked. Jord ignored Nikandros in favour of trying, and apparently failing, to get in contact with Orlant, and then having the same lack of success with Aimeric. He did, at least, manage to alert some of the rest of Laurent's guard and tell them to meet them at the location Laurent had sent, though he seemed troubled when he was told that two of them were otherwise occupied, and had been apparently ordered to remain where they were by Prince Laurent.

Thankfully, Pallas picked up the phone on the first ring when Nikandros called, as if he'd been expecting it. Less thankfully, he couldn't give Nikandros any details other than: "Don't worry, he's fine. But…"

"But?"

"But he and Prince Laurent are currently both naked in the middle of a crowd of press and bystanders."

After a long moment of stunned silence, Nikandros suddenly let out such a long and vehement string of curses that Jord looked over at him like he'd never even seen Nikandros before.

"You'll understand when we get there," Nikandros explained (without actually explaining a thing, admittedly).

He texted Damen: _I'm on my way. Put some damn clothing on._

(Nikandros was resolved to show absolutely no sympathy for his Prince in this situation, even if it would probably result in Damen having to be rushed to hospital for frostbite to his delicate bits, considering how cold it was this far north.)

When they finally arrived close to the GPS location they'd been given, and subsequently elbowed their way through an five-person deep layer of rubberneckers, Jord clearly _did_ understand. His reaction didn't quite match Nikandros's, but it was clearly a near thing. Nikandros wondered whether his tongue was bleeding; it certainly looked as though he'd bitten it hard enough in an effort to keep silent.

Knowing Laurent, perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised, Nikandros thought as he took in the entirety of the scene in front of him. But somehow Nikandros had never expected that if ( _when_ , if he were being entirely honest) a sex scandal featuring the Princes of Akielos and Vere broke, it would be in the context of an assassination attempt.

Damen's body was still entirely uncovered except for the layer of what had to be blood splattered all over his arms and part of his chest. Pallas was standing slightly off to his side, with a foot planted on the temple of one of the four men –the only one who was still breathing, from what Nikandros could tell – sprawled on the ground of the alley. Only Pallas's drawn gun and dangerously ready expression saved him from looking utterly ridiculous standing there in only his boxers and boots. His gun and expression were also probably the only things stopping the array of interested citizens from swarming the two Princes; they thankfully kept something of a distance, forming a wide circle around the carnage. 

Pallas's currently unclothed state explained why Laurent was currently wearing clothing that was entirely too large for him. Nikandros had a moment of (unwanted) insight into what Laurent would look like if he shrugged on Damen's clothing in the mornings. That vision was (thankfully) somewhat disrupted by the fact that the too-long sleeves were rolled up just enough for Nikandros to notice that Damen wasn't the only one with literal blood on his hands. 

Nikandros stripped off his jacket and handed it to Damen to cover up. Not that there was probably much point when a few dozen cameras had probably already captured him in all of his currently-gory glory.

"I texted you to put clothing on," Nikandros reminded him.

Damen blinked. "Um. Exactly where do you think I'm keeping my phone right now?" (Which made Nikandros question how Laurent had _his_ phone, before he had to shift his thoughts to something else out of self-preservation.) "Anyway, I did put clothing on Laurent," Damen added unapologetically.

Which Nikandros supposed he should have been grateful for, because he had exactly zero desire to see Prince Laurent of Vere's naked body. At least with Damen it was nothing Nikandros hadn't seen far too many times before to be bothered by it now.

Still: "I need a raise," Nikandros announced. 

"Yes, you really should double his pay, unless you want someone to steal him out from under you," Laurent informed Damen. He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Come to think of it, Auguste _does_ keep telling me I need to hire a social media advisor…" (Oh dear god, _no_ , there was not enough money in both of their countries combined.) Nikandros's terrified reaction clearly showed on his face, because Laurent smirked. "You should probably pay him more as well, while you're at it," Laurent added, indicating to Pallas. "At the very least he should get a bonus for the sheer entertainment value of watching him swinging along the roof gutters."

Nikandros would ask why Pallas had to swing along gutters in the first place, but he'd already witnessed Laurent's penchant for escaping across rooftops.

Pallas looked unsure how to respond. On the one hand, he seemed on the verge of looking at Laurent with heart eyes (if only his heart eyes weren't already reserved for another man) for acknowledging Pallas's efforts despite the fact that, as royalty, he could easily have just taken it as his due and not commented. On the other hand, Laurent was treating him like an amusing pet.

Nikandros could empathise. 

Thankfully, Jord provided some much-needed seriousness to an otherwise ridiculous situation. "I still can't get in contact with Orlant or Aimeric," Jord said, sounding worried. He clearly cared for his men. Nikandros felt a strange mixture of appreciation and annoyance.

Laurent nodded, untroubled. "Aimeric's still alive, surprisingly. Orlant's unconscious, but he should be fine. Paschal will be attending to him by now, since I had him on standby tonight. "

"And just why did you have your physician on standby?" Nikandros asked suspiciously.

Laurent shrugged innocently. (Nikandros wasn't fooled.)

Laurent was saved from having to explain (not that he probably would have anyway) by the arrival of what looked like half a battalion, who swiftly rounded up the onlookers and ushered the two Princes, their two guards, and Nikandros towards an oversized diplomatic vehicle. 

"What," Laurent said when Nikandros looked disbelievingly at the sizeable force that had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, "you didn't think I messaged _you_ before my brother, did you?"

It felt idiotic to be driven all of six blocks, especially when they were six blocks that he and Jord had already managed to navigate without issue once so far tonight, but at least the car was heated, which Damen and Pallas in particular were probably especially thankful for right now.

As soon as they arrived back to the palace, King Auguste greeted them (alone, thankfully) in some offshoot hallway, in what was perhaps the least official royal reception ever. Auguste was leaning casually against the wall, his arms crossed, and looking as if he wasn't entirely surprised to arrive back to his palace to find this kind of situation awaiting him. Still, Auguste took one look at the two princes and shook his head as if heavily put-upon, though he wasn't very successful in stifling his grin. 

"I honestly can't wait to hear this story," Auguste said, "but it looks like I'm not going to have much of a choice. Go clean yourselves up before we have an 'inside source' taking photos of you both covered in blood inside the palace."

When they'd slunk off with their guards in tow, Damen looking slightly sheepish but Laurent strutting away like he owned the place (Nikandros supposed he very nearly did), Auguste turned to Nikandros.

Nikandros held up a hand. "Hey, don't look at me. I still have next to no idea what actually happened. Though I strongly suspect your brother somehow planned most of it."

Auguste laughed. "Oh, don't worry, so do I. There isn't much that happens in this palace that Laurent doesn't have a heavy hand in."

Well that sounded… terrifying. And if Nikandros wasn't much mistaken, Akielos was probably looking at a similar fate, in a few years' time, if not sooner. (His soul wasn't prepared. It likely never would be.)

The two princes returned more quickly than Nikandros had expected, and it seemed that Laurent somehow had clothing that was perfectly in Damen's size readily available, because the suit Damen was wearing now fit him better than the outfit he'd arrived in. (Nikandros tried not to think about the implications of that.)

"I hear the men who attacked you were distinctively Akielon in appearance. I imagine the plan was to blame them for the assassination?" was the first thing Auguste asked.

"So it would seem," Laurent agreed. "Though I can't say for sure whether Damianos was to be painted as a second target or an involved partner who happened to be hit by friendly fire."

"It doesn't sound like you were surprised to encounter trouble tonight, for all that you didn't tell me of your suspicions," Auguste continued, sounding censuring.

Sounding not in the least penitent, Laurent admitted, "I couldn't be certain, but it seemed too good an opportunity for him to turn down. Especially once I made sure Damen and I were in as vulnerable a position as possible." (Of _course_ even being caught literally with his pants down was part of his strategy. Why was Nikandros even surprised?) "And I _have_ been provoking him for months now, ever since he had Aimeric film and post that little clip of me and start everyone calling me a racist disgrace. 

Auguste sighed. "Oh, is _that_ why you've been getting yourself into trouble and riling up Akielos all the time? I just thought you were really bad at flirting. I mean, it's not like you ever got any practice at it."

Laurent blushed slightly, and Nikandros literally choked on his own laughter. And then a moment later he had to stifle a groan when he realised that, in line with Nikandros's many frustrated complaints, it seemed Laurent really _had_ been going out of his way to purposely make Nikandros's life more difficult by repeatedly attracting the world's ire. Nikandros would have seriously considered wringing Laurent's neck right then if it wouldn't have simultaneously ended his oldest friendship, lost him his job, caused a massive internal political incident (which at least _some people_ around here tried to avoid), and made King Auguste have him summarily executed on the spot.

"Yes, well," Laurent said, trying to sound composed despite his pinkened cheekbones still giving him away, "the point is that I figured he was bound to snap eventually and make a more overt move if I continued to not get kicked off your Council even though I was repeatedly giving him optimal material to use to get the media and opinion polls to vilify me, and to push the other Council members to practically beg you to get rid of me."

Auguste made a disgusted noise. "Yes, I'm sure you're aware that he's had multiple people complain to me on his behalf about how I've retained you despite you 'causing immeasurable damage to Vere', while I had him kicked off the Council for 'no reason at all'."

They had to be speaking of Laurent and Auguste's uncle, Nikandros realised. Of course they were. This was Vere; such treachery was practically assured. Not that they would be the only royalty to have scorned relatives potentially plotting in the background, admittedly. 

Laurent and Auguste then engaged in a low-volume conversation in Veretian, the content of which Nikandros could no longer comprehend with much depth because it was so rapid-fire and heavily interspersed with Veretian names like 'Guion' and 'Nicaise' that meant nothing to Nikandros. Vannes might have tried her best to force endless gossip about the cesspool undercurrents of the Veretian royal court onto him, but Nikandros tended to disregard as much of that as he could manage without sacrificing his efficacy as Damen's advisor. It was a fine line, and he'd thought he'd been treading it well enough, but now he was realising it may have contributed to him having very little idea what had really been going on more or less under his nose for _months_ now.

Which suggested that he might actually have to _voluntarily_ listen to Vannes from now on. (Or he could quit his job, because given a choice between those two things, the latter was sounding highly appealing right now.)

What little detail Nikandros did glean from Laurent and Auguste's conversation sounded like the plot to a ridiculous movie. One to which he had the feeling he was still missing half the relevant plot points. Treasonous plots against the King and his heir. Death and dethronement on the line. Uncle versus nephews. Constantly feeding misinformation to spies and planting spies in turn. Purposely courting public ill will to see which of the King's advisors were insistently acting as the uncle's mouthpieces. And (Nikandros's personal favourite) a secret mission disguised as an irresponsible weekend loveboat retreat, then disguised again (supposedly inadvertently, but Nikandros wasn't buying a word of it at this point) as a royal kidnapping, all in order to unearth evidence that the uncle, in collusion with allies inside Akielos, had been mounting a secret Veretian military force in Isthima, only fifty miles from the Akielon capital. 

Damen looked sheepish when Nikandros looked at him as if to say 'don't you think that would have been vital information to let me in on?' Nikandros knew he wasn't imagining that Laurent looked smug about getting Damen to keep secrets from Nikandros (not that Laurent didn't _always_ look unbearably smug whenever he was in Nikandros's line of sight; Nikandros was only really aware he actually had other facial expressions because he'd seen them captured, rarely, in photographs).

"You know, you could have at least told me about your suspicions before this all escalated into an assassination attempt," Auguste admonished his brother with the long-suffering tone of someone who knew his words were going to be brushed off. (Apparently Nikandros might have yet another kindred spirit across the border. He was mildly alarmed by the growing number of Veretians he was actually starting to relate with.)

"I didn't actually expect it would come to that at all," Laurent admitted. Nikandros noted that his voice suddenly seemed just slightly more subdued, while Auguste's face looked both sympathetic and understanding. "I thought he'd target Damen and pin it on me rather than the reverse. I thought he wanted me disgraced, and maybe imprisoned, not… not _dead_." 

He took a breath, and in doing so seemed to gather himself. "And even if I'd told you I expected him to make some kind of move against me, what would you have done with that information?" Laurent asked. "Permanently banished Uncle from Arles, making it more difficult to track his movements, and pissing him off enough to make him turn on you rather than just contenting himself with targeting me for the time being? I had no intention of allowing that."

"Laurent, I know I give you a lot of leeway, and I always give your advice more weight than anyone else's, but you do realise I'm the King here, right? That wasn't actually your decision to make."

Nikandros held up his hand between them to quell what sounded like it was devolving into a brotherly argument that, to be frank, he didn't care that much about. Despite the fact that Damen insisted on involving them with Vere far more than necessary, their internal politics were their own business. Nikandros was far more interested to know: "Who was your uncle working with inside Akielos?" 

Before Laurent could speak, Damen was already saying, "We still don't know –"

" _I_ know," Laurent interjected. Clearly this was an argument they'd had more than once. "Don't forget I've been in a room with both of you, and seen the way he looks at you. I've even hear occasional whispers from people who don't guard their tongues because they forget that I'm fluent in Akielon." So Nikandros wasn't the only one that happened to. " _You_ may be ridiculously loyal and bound by the pillars of honour and the ties of blood, but those things mean less to lesser men. You might recall my uncle just tried to have me _killed_. Family, it seems, is not worth as much to some men as a crown." 

"Kastor," Nikandros said, not even a question. Loathe though Nikandros was to ever agree with Laurent on anything, Nikandros had little doubt that Kastor would jump on the chance to latch onto someone with military backing and some kind of plan.

Of course, Damen was still quick to say, "There's no proof of that yet." 

Laurent countered, "We'll have proof soon enough. The assassin who still lives might admittedly be worse than useless to us; had your guard not balked and pulled him out of my way, I would have killed that man with the others, because he'll undoubtedly lie and claim he was hired by Akielos. And I very much doubt Uncle employed them directly anyway, so he couldn't tell the full truth even if he were inclined. I suspect Uncle had Aimeric organise it, because if anyone else had ordered the hit, Uncle would have instructed them to kill Aimeric himself as well. After all, Aimeric's not exactly a strong-willed man, and he knows a little too much. Apparently Uncle's grown lax about these things lately; between Aimeric and Nicaise, we should have enough to reveal enough of Uncle's schemes to convict him."

"Where is Nicaise, anyway?" Auguste asked.

"In my apartments," Laurent replied.

"Probably clawing all the furniture to pieces like an angry kitten," Damen muttered. Well apparently _Damen_ , at least, knew who this 'Nicaise' was. Nikandros was seriously going to have words with him about this whole 'keeping secrets' business. How was Nikandros supposed to advise him if Damen was hiding what he needed advice about?

Laurent shrugged. "It's a necessary evil. He'll help us imprison Uncle, and once he's stripped of his power, his forces hidden in Isthima will be left with little recourse other than to sell out anyone higher up than them in order to save themselves. Considering I only began to suspect that the army was in Isthima, of all places, because Kastor has visited the island multiple times in the last six months for no apparent reason, I have little doubt that he's had enough contact with them to bury himself."

Nikandros looked to Damen, who said, "There's a military force ready off the coast of Isthima who'll be given the order to move the moment Father hears that the King of Vere's uncle has been taken into custody." Nikandros figured King Theomedes must have been overjoyed when his son had informed him that the Veretian royal family would soon be thrown into disarray, especially if it involved the man who his own son had been arrested for hitting. 

"Then it sounds like this should all be on its way to being resolved shortly. I'll handle Uncle's arrest," Auguste said, though it almost sounded inquisitive. 

"Please," Laurent said shortly. Apparently it _had_ been a question. Nikandros thought he could see why. He was actually surprised that Laurent didn't want to oversee the arrest himself. But then, he'd never really claimed to understand how Laurent's mind worked.

"Well, since I assume the reception dinner has been cancelled at this point, I believe I'm no longer needed tonight?" Laurent said. 

"I think you can take a few hours break," Auguste agreed, "considering you were nearly killed all of an hour ago."

"Ha," Laurent scoffed, "those assassins were hardly competent enough to 'nearly kill' me. They barely could put a scratch on me."

"Sorry, _who_ was it who had to fight three on one?" Damen chimed in.

"Depends who you ask," Laurent replied. "I think you'll find most reports will have me fighting them all on my own while you watched uselessly from the sidelines."

" _Excuse_ me?" Damen said.

"Did you want the public to accuse you of using excessive force on Veretian soil _again_?"

Damen frowned, but obviously had no response to that. (Nikandros felt vindication that at least Laurent was an annoying prick to Damen as well. At least _he'd_ sort of earned it.)

Laurent seemed to decide that Damen's silent 'acceptance' was his cue to depart, and he was the opposite of discreet when he snagged Damen's sleeve to drag him off into privacy along with him. Even if he might have been annoyed, Damen didn't exactly fight him.

Since it was clear that Damen didn't want or require his presence just now, Nikandros went in search of the one man in this palace who he hoped actually might want to see him.

"Prince Laurent didn't tell me about any of it, you know," Jord said when Nikandros found him. "He asked Huet and Rochert to watch out for Aimeric tonight, not me."

Laurent probably hadn't trusted Jord's poker face, Nikandros thought but wasn't quite cruel enough to say. And, like Nikandros himself, he might have suspected that Jord wasn't exactly unbiased on the topic of Aimeric.

All Nikandros said was, "Are you all right?"

"Yes. I'm not the one who was nearly assassinated tonight," Jord replied, frowning. It was clear that he was blaming himself for allowing that to happen. 

"No," Nikandros agreed, "but I was under the impression that you were close to the guard they've arrested for being complicit in it." 

"Aimeric?" Jord asked. He looked uncertain. "He's… Well. Maybe it could have been something, under other circumstances. He certainly seemed to want there to be more, and I wasn't averse to it, initially." Jord shrugged, looking like he was going to leave it there. But then he set his jaw, as if steeling himself, and said, "I think it eventually became obvious to Aimeric that my attention had been diverted elsewhere, recently." He met Nikandros's eyes. "Though I don't know what I expected to come of that attention, when he's made it clear what he thinks of Veretians."

Oh. ( _Oh._ And for months Nikandros had been assuming…)

Nikandros found himself smiling without meaning to. "You know, you are very different from Prince Laurent, and from most of your countrymen. And anyway, it would seem that I'm stuck with a Veretian influence in my life regardless of what I do. I might as well make the most of it." 

They were in public, and Nikandros had really had enough of public displays after his Prince's exploits earlier that night. (Besides, except for certain Akielons who had Veretians leading them around by the dick, most Akielons preferred to restrict these things to moments of absolute privacy anyway). So Nikandros restrained himself to a quick brush of his knuckles against Jord's. Jord's lips quirked slightly.

Unfortunately, that was the extent of it, because Jord intended to wait at Orlant's bedside for him to wake up. Nikandros was hardly about to protest Jord's sense of friendship and duty, but it did leave him alone for the rest of the night.

King Auguste apparently had more manners than his brother had earlier in the evening (which wasn't difficult), because he at least thought to send one of his staff to show Nikandros to his guest suite. Exhausted despite the relatively early hour, Nikandros collapsed onto the bed (which was opulent in appearance but definitely _not_ incomparably comfortable to lie on, because it was bad enough that there was now one thing Nikandros actually had to admit he liked about Vere, and he was not about to acknowledge a second).

He wanted to just fall asleep, but he'd be a fool not to check in with King Theomedes's Council. After a half hour phone call, he was reassured that everything was actually proceeding to plan. It wasn't that Damen wasn't perfectly capable of coming up with and following through on a viable strategy without his help, but any time Laurent was involved, Nikandros couldn't help but expect things to go wrong.

Surprisingly, during the phone call there was absolutely no mention from anyone in Ios of Damen being more or less been caught _in flagrante delicto_ with Prince Laurent of Vere. For that matter, Nikandros would have thought he would be able to hear King Theomedes's reaction to that all the way from here even without an open phone connection.

So when he hung up, of course he had to check what was being said about it. Surely the press couldn't have ignored the blindingly obvious _yet again_. 

He was grateful to see that the news feeds didn't yet have anything to say about a raid on a secret base in Isthima, since Nikandros knew it was still technically underway. The arrest of the man second in line to the Veretian throne, on the other hand, was receiving almost enough attention to break the internet. (Almost, but not quite; Nikandros couldn't possibly be lucky enough to receive the several hours of peace that would come hand-in-hand with that.)

Somehow, the story of the King's uncle being arrested even managed to mostly overshadow the story of a thwarted royal assassination attempt. Nikandros suspected Laurent may have been banking on that.

That wasn't to say no one was talking about the attack, though the facts were… distorted, to say the least. True to Laurent's word, by all Veretian accounts, Laurent had fended off his attackers single-handed, which had the Veretians providing a united front of singing their Prince's praises, a significant step up from the recent status quo of only the worst Akielos-haters voicing unabashed approval of Laurent's behaviour. There was no mention of the fact that Damen had been covered in their attacker's blood. The whole thing had the feel of a hush-up with a side of positive spin.

Especially since there was somehow not even the slightest whiff that the two princes had been caught together in any kind of compromising position, despite having been seen naked in public together. In fact, somehow no photographs showed up on any official news sources, and the only images that did emerge were blurry, taken in low light, and were from too great a distance away for a casual observer to tell if it really was Prince Damianos and Prince Laurent who'd been captured in various unclothed states. The poor quality of the photos combined with the lack of corroboration from the more 'respectable' facets of the media had most people questioning their veracity.

Surely this went beyond inexplicable ignorance and swung towards conspiracy. Nikandros had to wonder if Laurent had found a way to buy the silence of the whole internet. If anyone could manage it, it was probably him. 

And just as Nikandros was feeling glimmers of grudging respect towards him, he received the second text that night from the 'Hellspawn'.

_Hey Nik, what's old King Theo's number? I need it._

(Nikandros's eye twitched at the calculated disrespect towards both himself and his King.)

_It's important. Potentially life or death._

(Nikandros would wager both his kidneys that it wasn't really.)

_I'd just get it from Damen's phone, because his passwords might as well be non-existent, but the phone was taken into police custody along with our clothes, so…_

(Nikandros would happily sleep on burning coals rather than this _really not all that comfortable_ bed before he let Laurent goad him into asking why on Earth he wanted the King's contact details. He knew he wouldn't like the answer. Better to just ignore it.) 

But his phone chimed insistently several more times (like it was mocking his attempts to act like a reasonable human being, unlike Laurent). He couldn't help it. He looked.

_I really need to send him a selfie from earlier tonight as evidence that I can wreck someone despite being 'half his size and a quarter of his strength'._

(Nikandros _really_ wanted to believe that Laurent was joking about having even taken such a picture in the first place.)

_Also,_ Laurent added, _I need to rub it in his face that he would have been invaded by my uncle's army soon enough if not for me._

_Come on, clearly it's essential that I have his number. How else am I supposed to communicate these vital things to him when he doesn't even have social media?_

Nikandros sighed. He finally texted back to Laurent: _Tell Damianos to triple my pay instead. Double doesn't come close to covering having to deal with_ you.

And then he threw his phone away from him and pointedly fell asleep without even waiting for a response, because he was honestly just way too tired for this shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, you might have realised by now that the title's from Nik's uninformed perspective. Because turns out that the first five international incidents are not actually all that 'unintentional'. Lol. Poor Nik.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And (finally!) here's the +1 where Nikandros can't possibly under any circumstances mistake Laurent and Damen nearly breaking the internet as being not-entirely-on-purpose.

For once, the not-so-dulcet tones of rapid-fire alerts weren't actually originating from Nikandros's phone. The sound still woke him just the same, and he flinched away from it, groaning.

Nikandros couldn't remember the last time his head had pounded like this. He'd blame Makedon, but really it was Laurent's fault for roping Nikandros into their idiotic drinking competition (and Nikandros just bet that _he_ somehow didn't feel like he'd been scraped off the bottom of a burnt pan right now).

"Ugh, sorry. Should have turned it to silent."

Nikandros had thought that about his own phone more than once. But there was always, unfortunately, an overriding reason not to do it. He pointed out, "Probably not a good idea, since if you miss an emergency call, your charge would likely end up dead."

"You sound like you'd be heartbroken by that."

Perhaps not. But the fact that he had somehow become surrounded by people who _would_ be utterly wrecked if that should happen was... well, it wasn't something he could have predicted a few years ago, to say the least.

"Um…"

Jord's hesitant tone mostly managed to wake Nikandros up the rest of the way, because he recognised it immediately as meaning something was wrong, and that he'd therefore likely need to spring into action. It was a feeling he'd become far too familiar with over the last year (though usually it was accompanied by the feeling that he _could_ spring into action, whereas right now he felt like he'd fall down the moment he stood up).

Silently, Jord turned his phone's screen toward Nikandros, who squinted at it for several seconds longer than he would have needed to at any other time. Still, what he was seeing did eventually process. Nikandros immediately snatched up his own phone and brought up his feed, swiping his way down until he came across photographic proof that the world was, for once, not making up outlandish rumours. 

"For the love of… did _you_ know about this?" Nikandros asked.

"No." But the smile that broke across Jord's face made it clear that, unlike Nikandros, he didn't particularly mind being kept out of the loop, and that he was clearly pleased by the turn of events. That smile make Nikandros's chest feel tight. "It surprises me that _you_ didn't, though. I'd thought Prince Damianos would have been running this past you nonstop for weeks. He doesn't seem to be particularly good at keeping secrets, especially from you."

"Presuming he was actually patient enough to wait that long, I would never have been able to get him to shut up about it in the interim," Nikandros agreed. "Obviously this was Laurent's scheme, not his. Isn't it always?"

Laurent had certainly been the one who posted to Instagram about it. There was a close-up of what was clearly his and Damen's entwined left hands, darker fingers interweaving with light. Even that stark contrast was overshadowed by the twin glints of the brand new engagement rings they each wore. Laurent had tagged Damen in it and hashtagged it '#itwasonekingdomonce'.

 _HOLYWHATTHEFUCK BRACE POSITIONS EVERYONE IT'S THE DAMN APOCALYPSE_ was the first reply Nikandros read. They hadn't seemed to become much more coherent or calm from there.

However, after that initial wave of keysmashing, there was a small contingent that started insisting that Prince Laurent's account could have been hacked (though Nikandros had to wonder who exactly they thought would be foolish enough to attract Laurent's ire by doing that). After all, they justified, those could be anyone's hands in that picture. 

That line of speculation was cut off only minutes later when, on Damen's account, there appeared a selfie of Damen, grinning like a besotted fool, with his arms loosely around Laurent, who was leaning back against Damen's chest. As if he'd been halfway to pushing the camera away before the photo could be snapped, Laurent was extending his left hand towards the camera, his ring catching the light like a beacon. Obviously Laurent couldn't have been _too_ averse to having the photo taken, though, because not only had he allowed Damen to post it (Nikandros didn't believe for a second that Damen would have done so without Laurent's permission), but the expression captured in the picture was as non-confrontational and overall relaxed as Nikandros, let alone the population at large, had ever been allowed to see Laurent. (And Nikandros had been right; the annoying prick looked bright-eyed and not the slightest bit hungover, damn him.)

 _I always assumed I'd be the one asking one day, but he beat me to the mark this time #stillthewinnerhere_ , Damen had captioned. Laurent's practically instantaneous reply was, of course: _'This time'? Please. Don't pretend I don't always win._ Then, a minute later, Laurent added: _Though I would have enjoyed watching you bumble through antiquatedly requesting permission from my brother to ask for my hand._ To which Damen replied: _Wait, wait, wait, does this mean you asked my father if you could marry me????_ Nikandros could practically see Laurent's smirk as he responded: _Have I ever struck you as someone who asks for approval?_ Then: _Actually, get one of your people to film your father's face when he finds out. That would make this day even better, if possible._

Nikandros shook his head (and ouch, moving his head hurt) and typed out: _You're undoubtedly in the same room right now, please just talk out loud and stop subjecting my eyes to this so early in the morning._

Obviously Nikandros had been too tired and hungover to think that one through, because Laurent replied: _It's already noon. Just what has kept you in bed this late, hmm?_

Nikandros rolled his eyes and unthinkingly fired back: _Hypocrite. Don't think I don't recognise the background in that photo._

_Do you? And why would you be so familiar with the sight of Damianos's bedsheets?_

_I'd make a joke about it being because I always have to clean up his messes, but just the thought of that is making me ill considering who exactly is in his bed right now._

It was only when he spied the screaming reaction comments cropping up (including Damen's comment: _Is this the kind of thing you two bicker about when you message each other all the time? If so, I'm feeling both offended and kind of left out right now_ ) that Nikandros realised that he'd grown so used to sniping at Laurent in private chat that in his current state he'd momentarily forgotten that this _really wasn't private chat_ (fuck fuck fuck).

 _Excuse me,_ Nikandros added, _I have to take a hammer to my phone, and to my head, to erase the evidence of this conversation._

 _Realised that you were commenting publicly, did you?_ Nikandros could practically hear Laurent's glee. _Ha. I knew you couldn't hold your liquor. Or should I congratulate your bed partner for blowing your common sense clean away this morning?_

Nikandros buried his head in his pillow and groaned loudly, which made Jord startle against him. He stayed there for a while, wondering if it wouldn't be better at this point if he just smothered himself. Bad enough that he was probably going to have to live with Laurent being smug about it for the rest of my natural life, and Damen joining in (which Nikandros would have zero right to complain about, for once). But then, on top of that, he'd now likely have the whole world speculating all kind of things about him. 

Nikandros turned his face away from the pillow long enough to tell Jord, "Please don't wake me up until next week." 

"I won't be here in a week; Prince Laurent will be leaving Akielos in five days."

"Exactly," Nikandros said.

Jord didn't question it further (Nikandros knew he liked him for many very good reasons).

Nikandros didn't get to sleep for a week, though. He wasn't given the chance, because there was a knock on the door within twenty minutes. 

Nikandros glanced at Jord, who nodded; apparently it didn't need saying that it might be a good idea, considering everything, for Jord to avoid drawing attention to himself unless it was their Princes.

Nikandros's insides felt like they were plummeting into the floor when it turned out to be royalty waiting at his door after all.

King Theomedes was holding out a phone that Nikandros assumed belonged to one of his staff, because it was an advanced enough model that Nikandros suspected the King would have difficulty operating it without help. The screen was displaying an Instagram feed, including what Nikandros recognised as the top half of the picture that had served as Laurent's engagement announcement.

"What is this?" the King asked, his voice alarmingly calm, all things considered.

"Um. It's called 'Instagram'," Nikandros blurted out (because either he was secretly a glutton for punishment, or Damen's methods of dealing with his father had over the years rubbed off on Nikandros far more than he'd realised). He sincerely hoped the King at least hadn't been informed of the exchange between Nikandros and Laurent that lurked in the comments on the other offending photo. 

Theomedes practically growled, "Well judging from that smug response, apparently my son isn't the only one who's been overly swayed by Veretians and their attitudes lately."

Nikandros pointedly slid the door to his rooms shut behind him; the absolute last thing he needed right now was for the King to suspect that he was hosting one of the Veretians in question in there at this very moment.

At least so far the King seemed to be taking this better than expected. After all, Nikandros's eardrums were still intact. For now.

"Either you were somehow as unaware of this –" he violently shook the phone demonstratively "– as I was, in which case you're utterly useless as my son's advisor, or you knew all about it and kept it from me, in which case you're utterly useless _to me_ as my son's advisor."

Nikandros bowed as low as he could without being entirely prostrate. Even so, he had a feeling he was still courting absolute disaster when he replied, "I'm sorry, Exalted, but with all due respect, I'm Prince Damianos's advisor, not yours. My job is to protect him, and look out for his best interests, not to betray his private information to others."

When Nikandros straightened up, the King's expression was thunderous. Then, after a long moment, he let out a strangled bark of a sound that Nikandros barely identified as a badly-stifled laugh. 

"Well," the King said gruffly, "at least I can't claim you don't have a spine, and it seems _some_ of your priorities are in order. I suppose you can retain your position, as long as you don't warn my son that I'm on my way to him now." (Well that would explain why he'd come to Nikandros rather than issuing an imperious summons; Damen's rooms were right near Nikandros's.) "It wouldn't be in his 'best interests', or yours, if you tried to help him avoid what's coming to him. I'd hate to have to settle for voicing all my frustrations to _you_ instead, as I imagine it'll be more satisfying to yell at him directly. Especially since I expect I'll find that Veretian snake of boy at his side as well. I doubt that little upstart will stick around once I've given him a piece of my mind."

Nikandros had a feeling that the King would be disappointed there. Laurent could match King Theomedes in stubbornness, and he outstripped him in wordplay and pure vindictiveness. If the conversation was one-sided, the way the King clearly thought it would be, then Nikandros doubted that one-sidedness would be in the direction the King expected.

Still, it occurred to Nikandros that, for possibly for the first time since Damen had started getting them into trouble as boys, Nikandros wasn't going to be the one to receive more of the King's ire than Damen. Despite his massive headache, he found himself smiling. (Nikandros had zero sympathy for Damen right now. Zero. He'd earned this many times over.)

He might not have actually have been able to hear the King's yelling from all the way in Arles, as he'd once mused he might if the King found out about his son fucking the Veretian Prince, but Nikandros certainly could make it out from just a few halls away. He even heard some servants skittering away, as if ducking for cover, though whether that was from the King or from undoubtedly scathing responses coming from Laurent in the periods between shouts, Nikandros couldn't be certain.

"Should I be running to Prince Laurent's side right now?" Jord asked uncertainly.

Nikandros snorted. "The only thing he needs to guard right now is his tongue, and I don't expect you can help with that."

Jord frowned, but didn't move. He clutched his phone as if expecting Laurent to call him for help. But as much as Nikandros hated to give Laurent any credit, he very much doubted that Laurent would even consider having his guards 'save' him from this particular confrontation. 

Thankfully, the sound of yelling finally died away, meaning that Jord was able to relax and Nikandros was able to sink into welcome unconsciousness.

Nikandros wasn't surprised to find Jord missing when he finally woke up feeling a little bit more like a human being. Jord was, after all, only in Akielos in the first place because he had a job to do, and judging by the dimness of Nikandros's room, it was likely coming up on dinner time, meaning Jord would be on duty. That also meant that Nikandros was going to have to see Damen and Laurent shortly, unless he wanted Laurent to think that he was hiding from him.

Well. He wasn't stupid enough to go in blind. Much as he hated to do it, he had to see what the public reaction was.

While the Akielon reactions seemed more stunned than anything for now, the responses written in Veretian were more surprising to Nikandros, who had expected immediate public outcry on both sides at the mere mention of Akielos and Vere potentially merging into one.

_Combining Vere and Akielos would be logistically insane, but this crazy love story could just get people on board #itwasonekingdomonce_

_I want to cynically say this is all political, but… damn, look at their soft faces. #whatroyalfeud #itwasonekingdomonce_

_#itwasonekingdomonce #feels I'm not crying, you're crying. Prince Laurent doesn't just want peace, he wants unity. I'm just… #dead_

_Damn, my ovaries exploded from that second pic, so I can't volunteer to help give them an heir #freshouttaluck #itwasonekingdomonce_

_I'll never recover from Prince Laurent's months of unparalleled Twitter sass secretly being public courtship. #saltKING #itwasonekingdomonce_

_Anyone else suddenly dying for more 'private' conversations between Damianos's advisor and Laurent? #saltprince #nikandrosissodone_

Nikandros had a terrible, horrible, no good feeling that that last hashtag would be trending in short order, especially if Laurent caught wind of it (which, of course, he would, because Laurent sensed weakness like a shark detecting blood in the water).

And while Nikandros wasn't exactly complaining about the low degree of public negativity, he had to admit that it was still somewhat frustrating that Nikandros had struggled for months to deal with the damage that had recently been inflicted on Akielon-Veretian relations, while Laurent had apparently managed to undo all of that and then some in the space of one Instagram post. 

When Nikandros dragged himself from his room in time for dinner, he almost immediately met Damen in the hall (sans Laurent, thankfully and surprisingly).

"Do I still have a job?" Nikandros asked.

Damen laughed (a good sign). "I'm going to marry a man who mocks me on Twitter on a daily basis. I think I can forgive my oldest and best friend one public joke at my expense. Besides, everything else aside, I don't think Laurent would even let me fire you. He wouldn't find dealing with your replacement half as entertaining."

Nikandros sighed, wondering if he shouldn't take the decision out of Damen's hands and just resign right now.

Instead, he prompted, "So… It was one kingdom once? That's a massive political minefield you two just stepped into."

If he wasn't mistaken, Damen blushed. "Well it won't happen overnight. And probably not while my father is King. But Laurent didn't announce that entirely out of nowhere, you know. We've already got the ball rolling a little. Isthima is surprisingly supportive. We might have gotten even further with those negotiations if the world hadn't panicked about me being 'missing' and made us cut that trip a day short."

Nikandros blinked, and found himself questioning the intelligence of humanity once again.

"You know," Nikandros said, "people being unaware of you doing clandestine research on the illegal military in Isthima is one thing, but if you and Laurent were prancing about openly talking to people about politics, I'd have thought that would have warranted a few hundred tweets, especially since at the time everyone was accusing him of kidnapping you."

Damen looked sheepish. "People might have reported it, had they know it was us at the time."

"At least tell me _you_ didn't try to dress up as a Vaskian woman."

"We were impersonating Vere's Ambassador to Akielos and our Ambassador to Vere."

Yes, Nikandros was definitely questioning the Isthimans' intelligence, or at least their ability to use Google, considering the real Veretian Ambassador was nearly twenty years older and considerably heavier than Laurent, with short hair that was still dark despite being peppered with silver, not to mention having a face that looked like it had been flattened against a brick wall. (It was a pity that _didn't_ describe Laurent, in fact; Nikandros's life over the past year would undoubtedly have been easier, had Damen's first meeting with the Crown Prince of Vere since he'd attained adulthood instead involved an older man with a beer gut and not a single strand of blond hair.) 

At Nikandros's unimpressed look, Damen added, "Technically we _are_ both ambassadors to each other's countries."

"So he was in Isthima negotiating with King Auguste's knowledge and consent?"

"In a broad sense," Damen prevaricated, which Nikandros took to mean 'not in the slightest'. "Don't worry. Auguste will hold up their end of it."

Of course he would. As far as world leaders went, Nikandros respected King Auguste a lot more than some, really he did, but clearly when it came to his brother the man was even more of an enabler and a push-over than Nikandros himself was with Damen. So he could likely be relied upon to do everything in his power to get Vere on board with Laurent's plan.

As for getting Akielos to agree to an increased closeness with Vere without the current King of Akielos being anywhere near as readily on board with it as the King of Vere, the following days revealed that it wasn't just the people of Isthima who were open to being convinced. In fact, it was amazing, Nikandros thought, how quickly the popular opinion on Laurent changed amongst Akielons over the following days.

Though Nikandros could certainly see why the Akielon people had been swayed to support the relationship, despite everything leading up to its reveal. For once, it had nothing to do with Laurent having the seemingly supernatural ability to convince the world that he wasn't the devil despite all the evidence to the contrary. In this case, it was all down to Damen himself. 

The Akielon people loved their Crown Prince, from his dimpled smile to his kind eyes and heart (not to mention the large contingent who practically swooned at the sight of him because they thought he was so scorchingly hot). They tended to smile upon anything that made their Prince happy. And it wasn't that Damen had been unhappy, precisely, in the past when his attempts at 'romance' had amounted to a seemingly endless loop of casual but meaningless fun. But now there was a constant irrepressible joy radiating from Damen, and it shone all the brighter when he and Laurent were actually together, making the reason for it so obvious that even the blind fools who'd missed their ridiculous months-long courtship couldn't miss this. 

Photos kept being leaked from the palace that featured Prince Damianos looking utterly besotted in Prince's Laurent's presence. There was one particular photo, which seemed to be a crowd favourite second only to that first one Damen had posted after their engagement, where Damen had been snapped in the middle of an explosion of delighted laughter, leaning towards Laurent with his hand resting on Laurent's shoulder as if to keep himself from needing to double over with the strength of his amusement. Beside him Laurent was failing to suppress his own small but obviously genuine smile. His palm rested underneath Damen's elbow, supporting him. Everyone commented that it was like peering through a crack, seeing just a hint of the real man behind the public mask; the man who Damen must get to see every moment they were alone together. 

(Nikandros happened to know that the 'real man' was actually still kind of a dick, but what good was it going to do to tell people that at this stage?)

It was already getting to the point where, if you believed the average person on the street, everyone in Akielos had suspected all along that the Princes were together, because Prince Damianos was too openly in love to have fooled anyone. (The Veretians were adamant that they'd known first, of course, because even this was for some reason a competition). 

_We thought it was better to respect their privacy rather than bring it to light before they were ready,_ one trashy magazine wrote to explain why they hadn't reported on the relationship despite numbering among the many who 'knew all along'. (Because a magazine that had been one of the very few that dared to print grainy images of Damen and Laurent naked after they'd been attacked in Arles clearly cared deeply about their 'privacy', Nikandros scoffed.)

It was as if the people had suddenly accepted that this relationship had always been inevitable. It had just taken them a lot longer to do so than Nikandros, who'd been horrifyingly certain where this was going to lead the moment Damen had first laid eyes on Laurent in person.

"What makes him so different?" Nikandros asked the day Laurent was scheduled to fly back to Vere, more out of curiosity by that point than because he still figured he could (or even should) do anything to talk Damen out of it. "Was it just that he was the first person you pursued who wouldn't be won straight away?"

"He's not just some prize," Damen said. "And I suppose it's partly because he doesn't treat me like I'm just a prize either. Everyone's always wanted me just because I'm a prince, or because I'm good-looking." (But obviously not because he was humble, Nikandros silently remarked.) "But Laurent's a prince himself, and he always made it obvious that he wasn't impressed with my status." (True enough. No one who saw them together, or watched them interact on social media, could think to claim that Laurent treated his now-lover with any kind of deference.) "And he could have _anyone_ in the world that he wanted. He's been propositioned by everyone from soldiers and random people in the crowds at events, to supermodels, to the Vaskian Princess, who'll likely inherit her crown long before I will mine. And he turned them all down, regardless of status or appearance. So it's not just my looks or the fact that I'm the future King that made him choose me."

Nikandros really wanted to say that that still probably hadn't hurt his chances, especially given how ambitious Laurent seemed. But he said nothing. Because it wasn't as if Auguste would have had any problem with it if his little brother chose someone who didn't have a drop of aristocratic blood in them, or chose no one at all; Laurent could have remained in Vere, having almost as much input into steering his kingdom as the King himself. Besides, like most of the public right now, Nikandros was apparently too soft to want to say anything that would wipe that pleased look from Damen's face. 

He could have lived without seeing the less-innocently pleased expression on Laurent's face, though, when he strolled up and immediately pressed himself to Damen's side without sparing Nikandros a glance, as if he weren't even there (or rather, as if Laurent was well aware of Nikandros's presence and wanted to take this moment to rub their closeness in his face). Nikandros wondered if he'd been listening in on Damen's explanation. Damen clearly wondered the same, judging from the dusting of pink on his cheeks. Despite his embarrassment, Damen didn't hesitate to wind his arms around Laurent, and Laurent greeted him with a kiss.

"Weren't you going to say goodbye?" Laurent asked Damen.

"You still have hours before your flight," Damen replied. 

"Exactly," Laurent said. "Just enough time for a _proper_ goodbye, don't you think?"

"I'm standing _right here_ , you know," Nikandros reminded them from between clenched teeth. 

Laurent pressed a kiss to Damen's collarbone and, without moving an inch away from the circle of Damen's arms, looked at Nikandros expectantly. "So you are. Were you hoping for an invitation?"

Damen's fingers reflexively gripped Laurent tighter, possessively.

Nikandros grimaced. "I can think of few things more horrifying."

"Careful," Laurent said, "or you won't be invited to the wedding."

"Promise?"

"You're not getting out of it. You're my best man," Damen said, as if reminding him, as if Damen had actually _asked_ him to be his best man at his wedding in the first place. But then, he didn't need to.

Nikandros confirmed, "I suppose someone needs to at least _try_ to keep you out of trouble."

"Oh, but a life without trouble would be so boring," Laurent called back to Nikandros dismissively after he hooked his hand around Damen's elbow and started guiding him in the direction of Damen's rooms. "And I have no intention of having people accuse me of staging a dull wedding."

Nikandros sighed, long and emphatic. 

He really was going to find a job that was less likely to shorten his lifespan. Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to anyone who made their way through this whole ridiculous thing, particularly anyone who stuck with this since all the way back in January. Sorry I made you wait so long to finish it off. But hey, at least that's one of my meant-to-be-short-but-turned-longish WIPs finally done.


End file.
